Fight or Flight
by FaetightBlack
Summary: She's beautiful, and therefore to be woo'd. She is a woman, therefore to be won. - William Shakespeare The story of Josephine May "Jo May" Whittaker. A southern belle, beauty queen, girl next door - thrust full force into the zombie apocalypse in Georgia.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: Well, first of all, thanks for reading! I suppose you haven't really started reading yet but, thank you! This has kind of been a work in progress for a few months, I started, stopped, missed writing and then started again (and then repeat a few times!) I realize this isn't a Pulitzer Prize winner or the Dublin Award winner of the century but, I like to write in my spare time and I love the Walking Dead. So here it is. **

**I do not own the Walking Dead, this is a fan fiction story. I do, however, own the original character of Josephine May "Jo May" Whittaker. **

**Enjoy!**

One

Andrea was the first to discover me. I was hungry, cold, wet and couldn't stop shaking; I was scared as hell. I had run out of food, water and worst of all – the will to go on. The store had been empty, no walkers when I found it, thank God. I crawled into the bathroom hoping to find some water but, dry as a Don Mclean's levy. At that point I became a little delirious and decided it would be easier to die in a department store bathroom than go back out and try to live on the streets. The cold tile of the bathroom was welcoming against the heat of Atlanta. So, I laid back and closed my eyes, waiting to die. I laid there, under the line of sinks surrounded by my collection of survival gear: two guns, empty of bullets, a kitchen knife, a bone dry milk jug and a jacket that reeked of the dumpster I had been living in and the dead man I had pulled it off of.

After a quick bite check, Andrea had pulled me out of restroom and Jacqui had found me some clean, fresh, designer label clothes [not that labels mattered any more – geeks would eat you Prada or K-Mart – they were real "it's what's on the inside that counts" kind of monsters.] After a few hours of T.L.C. from Jacqui and Andrea, I found my place in the group, hiding behind Andrea – away from Merle. I couldn't shoot a gun or wield the knife I had. I had lived a life of pageantry and luxury before the outbreak; a pink tulle, bubble of protection. Until now. I suppose you would call them survival instincts that kicked in. I became as jumpy and as flighty as a sparrow. My ears and eyes had become expert at hearing and seeing movement in the three weeks on my own. My nose on the other hand, I had trained to not notice the smells of the dead or the garbage in a dumpster. My only goals had been to run and survive. Find out where the walkers were and head the other direction.

At night, we all made our way to the mattress section of the store, wish I'd have found that sooner. It would have been nice to say I died on a Sleep Number. Andrea and I shared a bed and she turned over to me and smiled, tucked hair out of my face, behind my ear, "You remind me of my little sister," she whispered, "Do you have siblings?"

"No," I said, "Only child."I had never been quiet or shy before… never an introvert like I was now. I became wild and almost animalistic. For three days I had hidden in dumpster eating flour tortillas I had snatched from an ownerless cart – well, semi-ownerless as two hands were still attached to the handle.

I shook a little as memories of the outbreak – from day one onward- flooded back to me. I turned over and quietly cried to myself, Andrea gently rubbing my back as my mother used to – the thought made me cry harder. Merle groaned, "Could you shut the hell up for one night?"

"Fuck off, Merle," Andrea said over her shoulder.

I wiped the snot and tears off my face and buried it in the pillow, slowly falling asleep.

_Her dark hair was wild, somewhere between curly and wavy – frizzy from the heat and sweat – her thick bangs were in her eyes, making the dark irises look all the more feral. Andrea watched her go through the racks and hold shirts and pants up to herself for size. Jacqui and Andrea had thought maybe a little shopping trip would bring Jo around – she still wasn't coming out of her shell any. She was terrified, they could all see it – her quick, jumpy movements and flashes of adrenaline lit up her eyes at any sudden movement. She was like a deer- ready to run at the first sign of trouble with a flick of her tail._ _Andrea guessed her to be about twenty or so – just a kid. Poor thing; parents were probably dead along with anyone else she knew. Her deep, Southern drawl made Andrea think that she wasn't from around here. She reminded Andrea too much of Amy. She didn't mind her either… Jo had become a little stick-tight, Amy's own personal shadow. _

We rode in the bumpy cargo truck; I clung to my bag of clothes I had taken from the store, sitting next to Andrea. Glenn went around us, alarm screeching. I giggled and Andrea looked at me and smiled, "That is the first time I've seen your teeth," she said, "They're perfect!" I quickly looked down and concealed my grin behind my hand. Rick looked behind him and smiled. I liked him; he had found our way out of Atlanta. He patted my knee and turned back around, focusing on the road ahead. I did not flinch away from his touch and I took that as either I was improving mentally or, I just didn't care anymore.

We continued for awhile, down into a little valley with a big, blue pond. We stopped short of a camp. Tents and an R.V. surrounded a couple of fire rings, smoldering in the late afternoon sun made up the little community. People were gathering to greet their returning friends and family members.

Everyone climbed out, Andrea left my side and ran to who I assumed would be her sister. People greeted each other, families and friends reunited. I stood next to Rick, hiding behind him and clinging to my belongings. And then, I was alone. I felt tears burn my eyes as Rick held his wife and son; the two he had promised to find. I stood off by myself, watching the reunions. Andrea walked p to me and held my hand, "This is Josephine May," Andrea smiled, "Jo, this is Amy and Dale. These are good people, Jo May." She tucked my hair behind my ears, like a mother.

I nodded, feeling a little more comfortable in the warm sunshine – absent the scent of walkers, "Nice to meet you," I said, quietly.

Amy and Andrea walked off, talking together, leaving Dale and I. I stared at the ground and dug a hole with the toe of my shoe, "Are you from around here," Dale asked, he seemed like the friendly, approachable type.

"No, sir," I said, "Lousiana."

"Louisiana," Dale said, "What are you doing way up here?"

"We heard that there was a safe place here," I said, staring at the ground. I closed my eyes and barred the memories from showing themselves again, digging the hole deeper with my foot.

Dale took the hint and nodded, "Let's find you a place to sleep, huh?"

I nodded and followed him. The camp was full of life – quiet, secluded, happy life. I followed Dale to a pile of camping supplies underneath the awning of an aged R.V., "We'll get you your own tent, Jo May," Andrea said as we approached, "Give you some space, a little privacy, won't that be nice?"

"Yes ma'am," I smiled, I knew that bugged Andrea.

She straightened up and looked at me, "What'd I say about that?"

"You'd make me in charge of waste management," I said, smiling at the ground. The other cop, Shane I think, walked over. He had a nice face and was very built, handsome and he had a friendly smile.

I took a quick step behind Andrea, he seemed surprised by my avoidance, "I'm Shane," he said, holding out his hand. I stepped back and Andrea shook her head quickly. Shane nodded, "If you need anything, Miss…?"

"Jo May," I said quietly.

"Miss Jo May," Shane smiled, "If you need anything, please don't be afraid to ask," he nodded and swiftly turned around to walk away.

"Yes sir," I said, my Louisiana drawl and manners drew more attention than I liked. Shane turned back and smiled and mouthed _Sir? _Andrea smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

We set up my own tent; it was tiny but, safe. Andrea and Amy put it next to theirs, in front of Shane's and to the side of Daryl's – whoever that was. Apparently Merle's brother which wasn't very appealing. We all gathered, at sundown, around the fire. I sat between Dale and Andrea, quietly taking in my new group. Rick kept his family close. It was no mistaking that Shane had taken to Lori and Carl – the way he looked at them was apparent. Andrea and Amy sat together, touching arms.

I looked back to Shane - the leader. He was a little bit over zealous with his duties but, I guess everyone needed a job after the end of the world. Dale, Andrea and Amy seemed to be a little family and I delicately inserted myself into it. Everyone else stayed with their families. I had no desire to become close to any of them. I trusted Amy, was thinking about trusting Shane.

After it was decided that we would tell this Daryl about Merle, the crowd dispersed. I quietly snuck off to my new house. It was humid in the tent but, the comfy cot and pillow and blankets were inviting. I kept the lantern low while I undressed and changed into my pajamas. I put on the linen pants but elected to just wear a sports bra – the heat was too much for a shirt tonight. I lay down on the cot and turned the lantern off. Andrea had put a wooden box on end and set the lantern, a flashlight and a bottle of water on it. My bag of clothes and spare pair of shoes had been set in the corner neatly. I closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep in my new home.

"_She's kind of weird, Andrea," Amy said, crawling into her sleeping bag. _

"_Amy," Andrea said, giving her _that _look, "Something bad happened to her, okay?"_

"_Yeah, so," Amy said, fiddling with the zipper pull on the her makeshift bed, "Bad things have happened to all of us but you don't see me jumpin' around and having staring contests with the ground."_

"_Be nice," Andrea said, "She opened up to me a little. I think she's just been on her own for awhile too long."_

_Amy didn't respond, thinking about her own hardships. Everyone's. She thought it was a little dramatic to think that any of them was worse off than the other. Especially one who had been living in a department store. Amy would have loved to live in a Macy's._


	2. Chapter 2

Two

I woke up and stretched quietly; the warm sun shone through the grey canvas and heated the little triangle of a hut. I laid there for a few minutes, wallowing in the wonderful warmth. I wasn't hungry, thirsty or cold. I could hear people laughing and talking. For once, I was only worried about how I looked. I pulled the tiny compact mirror out of the corner of my bag, I'd found it in a purse on my way to the department store, and examined my face. My hair, frizzy and wild fell in big, black waves past my shoulders. The thick bangs dusted my eyebrows. I looked a mess. I changed into shorts and a tank top and put on the black flats. I stepped out of the tent, which opened right up to the "commons" area of the camp – the fire pits and chairs. Everyone turned to look at me and Shane stood up, "Good morning, Jo May," Andrea said patting the car seat next to her, "How about some breakfast?"

I smiled and nodded. Shane hit his knee, "Well, I'll be. There is a pretty set of teeth behind those lips."

I felt my face flush red and my smile grew on its own. I sat quietly next to Andrea and took the coffee and granola bar from her, "Thank you," I said. Everyone munched on their bars and drank their coffee. I could have sat there for the rest of eternity – quietly taking in these new faces, new voices. They all seemed comfortable; there was no one to really be afraid of, maybe Ed but I trusted Shane to keep him in line.

I panicked when the conversation turned to me, "Where in Louisiana are you from Jo May," Shane asked, staring at me with a friendly smile.

"Uh, well," I said, swallowing the hot coffee, "Saint Tammany Parish… little town called Belle Ree, I don't expect ya'll to know it."

"Can't say that I have," Dale said, "That near the ocean? Or farther in?"

Before I could answer, a scream came from the woods. It was Carl. We all stood up, uneaten granola bars and cups of coffee hit the ground. We all took off for the woods – various weapons in hand. Lori stopped at Carl who was the screaming and picked him up; he was alright as was Sophia, who Carol had in her arms.

Rick and Glenn skidded to a halt in front of the walker gnawing on the dead deer. Shane put on the breaks in front of me and I ran into his back – his arm came around and his hand grabbed my waist, "Get back, Jo May," he said, I put my hand over my nose – the scent of the zombie filled the air – I nodded and stepped back. Shane and the others beat the walker down until Dale came by and decapitated it with the axe.

Brown-green bile oozed out of its neck and I had to turn into the bushes and vomit. I recuperated and stood straight, turning around to face the group again, "I'm alright," I said quietly. I made my way back to camp while they disposed of the walker,.

I sat on my cot and inhaled through my nose; exhaled slowly through my mouth. I held my head in my hands and my hair fell around me, a curtain of protection. I was a bit embarrassed at the sight of my mop of black hair. It could use a trim, especially my bangs. And probably a heavy duty conditioning and blow out… it was so wavy and frizzy. Wild hair. I'd never win a beauty pageant looking the way I did now. I was crazy to even think about being in a pageant! The only pageants there would be now was the talent competition in which everyone showed how swell they were at staying alive.

"Merle!"

I jumped up and panicked for a moment, my heart pounding faster. I stepped out of my tent and saw that, I by deductive reasoning I could only say was Daryl. He had on a cut off sleeved, thermal shirt, jeans and a string of squirrels attached to his side. He sat a crossbow down next to his tent, "Looks like a got a new neighbor, huh, Merle," Daryl asked his absent brother, "Who'er you?" I stared at him. He looked at me and had the bluest eyes I'd ever seen, "Hello? You a retard? She a retard?"

"Jo May," I said, "My name is Jo May, from Louisiana."

Rick's voice turned Daryl's gaze away from me and my heartbeat slowed a little. Daryl did not take the news of Merle very well, who would really? After a few hours by himself, he calmed down. Daryl sat outside his tent, skinning the squirrels. I felt sorry for him – his brother was probably a skeleton hanging on the roof by now. No one was around and no one was comforting the poor guy; I doubt he would accept any comfort anyway. I picked up a knife that was lying on the cook table and walked over to him. I pulled an empty bucket over, flipped it upside down and sat down across the table from him. I grabbed a squirrel by the tail and glanced up at Daryl – he was staring at me. My eyes shot down to the squirrel. Daryl stared at me, "Just cut off the feet and tails." I nodded and did my task.

"I'm sure you'll find your brother," I said, chucking a tail into the scrap bucket, "He's pretty tough, as far as I could tell."

"Yeah," Daryl said, peeling the skin off a squirrel body, "He is."

"Should I bury these," I asked, staring at the bucket of stumps and tails and rodent heads.

"I'll do it," Daryl said, keeping his eyes down, focused on the task at hand and the one that lay ahead.

"Jo May," Andrea's voice said and I jumped, the knife in my hand clattering on the table, "C'mon, we're gonna go take a good bath, yeah?"

I looked back at Daryl; he was staring up at me, "Get gone." He shooed me with his knife and I jumped up from the table and trotted to my tent. I felt oddly useful, like I had a purpose for a few minutes – and it felt good.

I grabbed a fresh set of clothes from my tent and took one last look at Daryl before walking up to Andrea, "That's the most I've heard you talk in awhile," she said, as we walked to the lake.

"Daryl," I said, "He isn't like Merle, I don't think… and he reminds me of the boys from Belle Ree."

"Well, just be careful around him alright," Andrea said, "He's a little wild."

I nodded. All of us ladies undressed to our bras and underwear and waded into the cool water. We passed around the shampoo bottles, the shaving cream, a new package of razors – it might be the end of the world but, we'd still be pretty and clean. The water felt good with the hot sun beating down on the top of my head and I swam out and dove beneath the water, letting the silence of lake surround me. I stayed under, swimming as far away as I could from the group and popped up, pushing my hair out of my face. Shane was sitting right there fifteen feet from me, "I'm not watching," he said, he was clearly in a bad mood, "Just making sure nothing comes around." I stared at him for a few moments longer, he stared right back, straight into my eyes. He had his hands on his knees and his head down a little. I turned around and swam back to the group, I could feel Shane's eyes on me. By the time we were ready to get out of the lake, I looked back and he was gone.

We waded out and put on our fresh underwear and bras but, we elected to sunbathe for awhile before heading back to camp. I sprawled out on the dock and Carol French braided my hair.

Later that day, I took my small pile of dirty clothes and tossed it in the basket Jacqui had given me. I stepped out of my tent as Daryl strapped his bow to his back, "Do you have some clothes you'd like washed," I asked Daryl. Everyone stopped and stared at me as if I was crazy. Dale cleared his throat and they all went back to their own business although I'm sure they kept their ears open.

"Uh, yeah," Daryl said, tossing some pants, shirts and underwear into my basket.

"Good luck," I said, he was already walking away, I wasn't sure if he had heard me. But, he turned around, nodding slightly; he squinted at me in the sun.

"Thanks."

The ladies and I washed the clothes in the shallows of the lake, our pants rolled up and feet in the cool water, "That was mighty nice of you to wash Daryl's clothes," Carol said, smiling at me.

"Well, we did leave his brother chained to a roof in the city," I said, "It was the least I could do to help him out."

We talked quietly; it was nice to have women around. I felt comfortable and I felt myself slowly coming back to normal. Slowly. After awhile we became rowdy, joking around and laughing. Andrea and Carol ticked off a few jokes about vibrators and we all snorted to each other, looking back at Ed who was keeping an eye on us, "You ladies need to get to work," he said, smoking a cigarette from the back of his truck.

"Or what, Ed," Andrea snapped, rolling her eyes at him. No one liked Ed as far as I could tell. I didn't either.

Ed walked over and grabbed Carol, he pushed Andrea out of the way, causing the girls to try and pry Ed off of Carol but, Ed slapped Carol instead. I called for Shane who came running over as fast he could. I had never seen such a look on anyone's face. Sheer, blunt rage.

Shane bashed in Ed's head. I stood, watching dumbfounded. I couldn't believe the absolute force Shane had in his hands and arms. Ed was a pulp when Shane walked away. Carol fell to her husband's side. I felt sorry for her, feeling like she owed him anything, that she should fall to his side and apologize. I wanted to kick Ed.

Instead, I shot after Shane, who was headed back to camp. He flung himself inside his tent; I poked my head in, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he snapped.

"Your hands are bleeding," I said, "C'mon, let me clean them up."

Shane came outside and sat in a chair, I sat on the ground and ran some water over it, he winced when I dabbed the cuts with alcohol, "Thank you," Shane said, inspecting his cleaned wounds that had stopped bleeding, "I appreciate that."

"Thank you for letting me into the group, ya'll didn't have to do that," I said, standing up and walking away.

Shane grabbed my hand and even though he barely held it and hardly pulled me his way, I yelped and yanked away from him, "People like you are always welcome," he said, awkwardly, "I'm sorry if I… are _you _okay?"

"Yeah," I said, searching for an explanation. I knew I didn't want to tell the truth, "Just a little shaken." Shane nodded, I don't think he believed me but I walked off anyway, looking for Lori and the pile of wet clothes I had left behind.

The rest of the day was quiet, waiting for our friends to return – the tension could be cut with a knife. Ed stayed in his tent; his cocky attitude had been diminished. We mostly sat around the campfires, talking quietly. Shane patrolled every once in awhile, clearly fuming. As the sun set, we all checked the strings of cans and bells and settled in for the fish fry; using the fish Andrea and Amy had caught for us. Shane and I cooked them up, using some leftover batter mix Dale had left in his R.V., "Where'd you learn to cook like this, Jo May," Lori asked, throwing a piece of fish in her mouth.

A smiled and felt my ears turn red, "We ate a lot of fish back home," I said, "Fish, alligator, even frog legs."

Shane looked at Lori and then at me, "Jo May, you are a dream come true. Tomorrow, we're gonna catch and cook up some frog legs."

I nodded, "Sounds alright."

Lori laughed and shook her head, "I can't believe you two eat frog legs! Gross."

"No way," I said, "They are so good," my mouth watered at the thought of my Mama's cooking, "Cook em up with a pan of jalepenos and oysters fresh off the bayou! And some alligator strips and crawfish," I realized I had been going on for awhile and I smiled and focused on pulling the stray bones out of my fish.

Amy got up to go to the bathroom. We were all stuffed and relaxing, the night was cool and the fire threw off gentle, warm waves of heat.

It turned to Hell in an instant.


	3. Chapter 3

Three

"Get down," Shane yelled as the walkers invaded our camp. I ducked as he fired his shot gun. I scrambled on the ground, falling into a belly crawl to Shane. I lunged at him and clung to his thigh. He pushed his arm against my back and held me close; I buried my face in his side, attempting to scream. I could barely breathe and I screeched with each exhale. Shane dropped the shotgun and pulled a handgun out and fired with one hand. He pulled me up with the other and pushed me towards Dale's camper. Andrea ran towards Amy who was lying bloody on the ground, convulsing.

Shane wrenched me back as I tried to go after her, "Jo May, get in the camper!"

I clung to Shane, unable to move; paralyzed by fear. Rick, Daryl and the others came from out of nowhere – saving us. A few moments later it was silent. Shane let go of me and went to finish off the rest. I crawled over to Andrea. Amy was gone. I started to cry, "Andrea, I'm -,"

GET AWAY," Andrea screamed and I fell backwards, scooting away, "GET AWAY FROM HER! GET THE FUCK AWAY," Andrea looked back at Amy and started to cry again.

I stood up, covered in blood and dirt. I stumbled in a circle taking in the gory aftermath of the attack. Daryl, Shane and Rick jogged back into camp. I felt myself closing up again. Daryl walked up to me, "You bit, Jo May?"

_Truth of it was, Daryl had been thinking about Jo May while he was in the city. She was definitely an outsider, different from everyone else… kind of like him. Although, she didn't have an abusive elder brother who was a skinhead, drug dealer, she probably had her own set of problems. Her dark, on edge eyes told him that much. And, she knew how to take care of a dead squirrel, talents like that were far and few between. Even if she was a beauty queen from Louisiana in a zombie apocalypse; she was definitely a beauty. _

I shook my head and walked back to my tent. Two twitching bodies lay in front of it and I doubled over, two arms caught me. I jumped forward away and out of them and into the dirt. I turned around quickly and saw Dale standing there, awkward kneeling in the spot he had tried to catch me in. I started to shake again and whimpered a bit. Dale came over, slowly, carefully, "Jo May," he said, "Come sit down."

As Dale calmed me down on the car seat-couch, Daryl removed the corpses from in front of my tent. I couldn't wait and I ran into my shelter and fell into the corner – I ripped off my gore covered shirt and pants, throwing them out the zipper door. I sat on the bed and drew my legs up to me, I heard Shane giving orders, "We'll start clean up in a couple of hours – get some rest. I'll take first watch."

I scooted towards the end of bed as Daryl stepped into my tent; he had to duck to fit inside, with a concerned look on his face, "You okay?"

I looked up at him and started to shake again. I buried my face in my knees and shuddered as tears poured out of my eyes. Daryl pulled a blanket around me, "I'll be right outside," he said, quietly.

He did just that. He pulled a chair to the front of my tent, pulled his bow taught and sat guard. I could see his outline against my tarp. I was thankful for my watchman.

_She looked a little crazy, Daryl thought. Seeing her rocking back and forth, whimpering inaudibly with barely any clothes on. Something real bad must've happened to her. Real bad. His eyes closed when he sat down, he was tired from their trip to the city and feeling depressed that he hadn't found Merle. He let his eyes close – letting the heat from the fire warm his face, he fell asleep._

I woke up, curled into a ball underneath my blankets. Rancid smoke of the burning dead filled my nostrils and I gagged. I swallowed the urge to vomit and pulled on a loose tank top and shorts. I elected to wear a pair of sturdy hiking boots today – unsure of what I'd be walking in. I took a deep breath and stepped out into the carnage. Andrea was still hunched over Amy. Dale was sitting next to her, speaking softly as he always did. I could see Dale cared for Andrea very much, the way he looked at her, spoke to her. I knew he would take care of Andrea after Amy was gone.

I heard a sickening crunch and turned – Carol was slamming a pick axe into her husband Ed's head. I ran off into the woods and heaved what little I had in my gut onto the ground, "Jo May?" I heard Daryl's voice behind me. I turned around slowly, holding my aching sides, "You better stay close to camp," I nodded and stumbled past him, he caught my arm and prevented me from falling, "Stick close to me." I nodded and followed him back; camp was sober and solemn – quiet and smoky. I felt utterly alone and vulnerable without Andrea by my side.

Daryl walked up to a zombie, "I could use your help," he said and tossed me a pair of leather gloves from his back pocket. I caught them and put them on. I grabbed the ankles and he grabbed the body under its arms – I mustered up every ounce of courage I had to carry this thing and not puke on Daryl. We carried it over to the burn pile; T-Dog took the legs from me and tossed it onto the stinking pile with Daryl. I walked away, quickly taking off the gloves and trying not to vomit. Lori came up to me slowly and put her arm around me, "How about you come over here with Carl, Sophia and me."

Then, it was like all the chaos started at once, a gunshot made me fly behind Daryl, away from Lori. We looked over to the RV and Andrea let Amy's limp body fall to the ground with a thud. Blood and brain matter oozed out into the dirt. Andrea stood up and walked away. I sighed; going to walk to her but Daryl caught my arm and shook his head no.

Then, Jacqui's voice made us all swing around the other way, "He's been bit. A walker bit Jim!"

"Show us," Daryl said, swinging his crossbow around his shoulder, "Show us!"

Jim's shirt was lifted and we all saw the bite mark. My hands went up over my mouth and I panicked when Daryl went after Jim with a shovel. I skidded in front of Daryl, my boots sliding in the dusty dirt. I caught his arm and put my other hand on his chest, trying to stop him, "Don't," I said. Daryl stomped off, angry.

Against Daryl's wishes, Jim was settled into the RV. Following my orders, I trotted dutifully after him, "You don't have to follow me _everywhere,_" he said, walking down to the water's edge. He thrust his hands into his pockets and kicked stones into the water.

"I'm afraid," I said, it came out like a squeak.

"It's not so bad," he said, "Just gotta know how to shoot," I stared at him. He huffed and looked down, shook his head and looked back at me, "You can't shoot." I shook my head.

"I can't do anything that matters anymore," I choked out; "Unless you need your nails done, your eyebrows plucked or something sewn I can't do anything!"

"Oh come on now," Daryl looked uncomfortable, "Hang on a sec," A few moments later Daryl had me facing the driver's seat ripped out of Glenn's Camaro. I held Daryl's crossbow shakily, Daryl stood behind me, "Now, get the head, I mean headrest, in your sights," I lifted the bow and found my target, lining it up with the little notches, "Once you're ready, pull the trigger." I did and an arrow stuck deep into the seat, way below the spot I aimed for.

Daryl chuckled a little bit and loaded another arrow. I felt a little more confidence run through my blood and found the seat in my sights again. Daryl came up behind me and put his hands on my elbows. I swung around and heard a thud. Daryl screamed and fell over, I dropped the crossbow, "You shot me," Daryl, "Oh my God, you shot me! My foot!"

"Daryl," I said, "I am so sorry, you scared me! I'm so sorry! Shane! Rick!" I called for help and heard people trampling through the woods. Blood was slowly oozing out of Daryl's boot.

"What happened," Rick said, looking at Daryl.

"She shot me," Daryl said, his face red – clearly pissed off. He rocked back and forth and held his foot.

"It was an accident," I said, crying, "I – he – we were shooting at that… and then he scared me and I turned around and it went off and," I started to bawl and headed back for camp. Shane came after me.

"Jo May," he said, "Hang on a second, Jo May. It was an accident. Daryl is okay! He'll be okay!" I stopped and stood outside of camp, bawling my eyes out like a demented child, Shane gave me a hug, "It's alright, sweet pea. We're gonna leave here in a few days and its all gonna be alright. Daryl will be fine, don't you worry," I gave into the hug and pressed myself against Shane's strong chest, muffling my sobs. Shane swooped me off of my feet and carried me to my tent. He sat me down on my cot and sat next to me and pushed my hair behind my ear. I quickly shied away from him and sat at the other end of the cot, drawing my legs up to my chest, I began to bawl again. And then it all came out.


	4. Chapter 4

Four

"When we first heard about the outbreak," I began, "We thought they'd catch it before it got to us… such a small town. But, when people started turning we headed out to Atlanta to the CDC."

"You don't have to tell me this Jo May," Shane said, staring at me.

"The city was crawling with walkers and gangs when we got there," I continued. I couldn't stop, "They stopped our van at the city limits. It was like a tornado… one second we were almost there and the next my mama and daddy were gone. This group of men took me," I was bawling now, barely could catch my breath to talk, "They took me Shane," I cried out, "For three days," Shane's brow was furrowed and his upper lips twitched. His hands were bawled into fists. I wiped my face off and sniffled a moment, "They raped me. Most of them. More than once."

And then I exhaled. Shane stood up and I stood with him, "Jo May," Shane said, he took off his hat and crumpled it in his hands, "I'm so sorry that happened," he held open his arms and I instantly gravitated to them, I needed to be held now, to be comforted. I was crying into Shane's chest again but, this time I wrapped my arms around him, "Its gonna be okay from now on, okay?"

I nodded and Shane dried my eyes with his thumbs and walked outside.

"_Rick," Shane said, putting on his hat, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"_

_Rick had Daryl's arm across his shoulders, helping Daryl walk; the arrow still sticking out of the top of his boot. Rick helped Daryl to a seat and followed Shane away from the others. Rick could tell Shane was angry, his neck was red and his fists were balled, his knuckles white, "What's wrong," Rick asked._

"_Did you know about Jo May," Shane asked, turning around. His chest rose and fell in a slow, forced rhythm._

"_What? That she shot Daryl," Rick said, confused, "Weren't you just there?"_

"_No, Rick," Shane snapped, "That kid just told me that she was gang raped when her family tried to come to Atlanta. Did you know about that?"_

_Rick stood with his mouth open and his arms limp at his sides, "I didn't know," he said quietly. It made sense now, she made sense._

_Shane and Rick both had worked with rape victims and they both knew that some acted like Jo May, some acted stoic and some didn't feel anything at all: numb. And then, there were the ones who couldn't take it, the ones who ran away and killed themselves out of pain, fear, guilt; Shane never knew. He did know, however, that Jo May would be safe, she would be taken care of and nothing bad would happen to her. _

_Jo May would take his mind of off Lori._

Glenn and Rick helped Daryl back to camp. Dale brought the crossbow and arrows. I stayed in my tent again, quietly crying. I was feeling a little more than embarrassed and was actually debating if I should go out on my own again. I had survived this long, scavenging and hiding – I could probably do it again. Daryl's voice snapped me out of my thought, "Hey Jo May," he hollered from one of the chairs around the fire, "C'mere!"

I poked my head out of the tent, "What?"

"Just a flesh wound, kid," he said, grinning. I started crying again and Daryl rolled his eyes and started to say something. Rick hit his shoulder and mouthed _be nice. _Daryl sighed, "Come out here, Jo May. Its supper time and you're gonna eat."

I stepped out into the camp; the sun was setting and the crickets were starting to play. I sat quietly next to Shane, who handed me a peanut butter sandwich. Everyone sat quietly while we swallowed the thick sandwiches down with warm water. Carol's voice, one you didn't hear often grabbed our attention, "Well, we all know each other's stories Jo May," she said, My stomach flipped, "I think we'd all like to know yours."

Daryl nodded, "That's f'sure – like to know why you're cryin' and pukin' all the time."

"C'mon Daryl," Rick said, shaking his head.

"Go ahead, Jo May," Daryl said, looking at Rick.

Shane leaned over quietly, "You don't have to say anything if you don't want."

"You know I'm from Lousiana," I said, staring at Shane. I continued, "I was Miss Teen Louisiana," I smiled, recalling the memories, "My whole life I was in pageants – you know that show 'Toddlers and Tiaras'? That was me. I have never smoked a cigarette, drank a beer or done drugs. I had never shot a gun. Nothing violent had ever invaded my tiny, pink, Rhinestoned world." I grabbed a blanket and pulled it around my shoulders, "When the outbreak happened, we figured we would wait it out… they would find a cure. Until it reached Belle Ree. That's when we packed up the van and headed to the CDC. By the time we got there, the edge of the city was crawling with gangs, looters and walkers. They stopped our car," I said, looking at Andrea. She was staring, blank faced into the fire. As I recalled what had happened to me in the back of that van, what had happened to my parents, I shudder and felt the peanut butter sandwich coming up.

"That's enough, Jo May," Shane said, "You don't need to."

"I was on my own for weeks," I said, over the top of him. I suddenly felt the need to get it all out, right now, "It took me a few days to get away from the gang," I wouldn't tell them what had happened in those days, it was too much for even me to talk about, "At one point, I lived in a dumpster on apple juice and tortillas for days. It took me almost three weeks to get to that store. Four days for you to find me."

It was silent for a moment, "I'm glad we found you," Lori said. A murmur of nods and support went around the fire.

No one slept that night, too afraid to go into their tents alone. I stayed close to the fire, wrapped in a blanket next to Shane. Everyone seemed to have found a buddy or two and no one was going out alone. A cool breeze blew through the woods and I scooted closer to Shane and he put his arm on the back of the chair so I could get right up against him. Between the fire, my blanket and him I felt alright. We were all fairly quiet, planning the trip that we would make to the CDC, "Are you alright," Shane asked quietly. I nodded and looked across the fire at Daryl. His lips were pursed and he was staring at me, angrily.

_Should have figured she'd pick Shane, Daryl thought, ripped, douche bag, cop. Jo May probably didn't even know Shane had been banging Lori for weeks now; he just needed a rebound. Stupid Shane. Dickheads like him _always _got the girl. Never Daryl._

Life had started to seep its way into the camp, a few days after the attack. Andrea was still forlorn, on her own but, Dale stayed close to her. Laughter and smiles slowly started coming back, as did everyday conversation.

I rolled my blankets and pillows up and tossed them into a basket. Shane went to work on taking down my tent. Daryl sat in a chair, staring at his foot and then at me. I shook my head, "You're kinda milking in, Daryl," I smiled. I had gained a certain amount of confidence around these people. I was beginning to feel at ease, safe once again. And, after shooting him, I'd felt much more comfortable around Daryl.

"I'm a crip, Jo May," Daryl said, trying not to grin. I liked him when he was happier, friendlier. He was better looking when he smiled – his blue eyes sparkled a bit.

Jim moaned from the trailer and Daryl lost the smile and shook his head, pursing his lips, "We should kill the sum'bitch."

Shane cleared his throat, "Just help Jo May with your stuff, Daryl."

Daryl stared at Shane for a second, tapping his finger on the arm rest, "Daryl," I said, walking into his tent, "Get in here and help me," Daryl groaned but, soon entered, "It smells like boy in here."

Daryl ran his hands through his hair, "Yeah."

I piled his dirty clothes into a basket and stood up. He was right behind me, his hands caught my elbows and I looked up at him. He reached up and ran his thumb across my lips, I jerked my head back, "No, please no," I said, pushing past him and walking out into the fresh hair. I sucked in a shaky breath and walked over to my pile of belongings and set Daryl's next to his.

Shane tossed my tent down, "You alright?"

"Oh yeah," I said, "Just hot out, ya know," I stuttered and swirled my finger in the muggy air, "Heat gets to ya, ya know?"

Shane nodded, "Let me know if you need somethin'."

I nodded and walked into Daryl's tent again, "Sorry," I said.

I sat down at Daryl's feet and slipped off the boot on his wounded foot. I wrinkled my nose at the smell, "You should wash and change this a lot," I said, unwrapping the bandages gently, "You reek."

"Sorry, Miss America," Daryl said, staring at the hole in his foot. Thankfully, it hadn't hit any bone or gone all the way through.

I gauzed and wrapped his foot again and chucked a pair of fresh socks at him, "Let's load up the truck."

It was one of the hottest days. We were all sweating, covered in dirt and exhausted before noon. The camp had been packed away; the only things that remained of our existence were the fire rings and the flat, rectangular patches of grass where our tents had been. You couldn't see the graves; they were hidden in the grove of trees and bushes. Andrea was standing out there by herself, hand so her hips, head bowed. I missed her.

"Let's head out then," Rick said, climbing into the old station wagon, Lori, Carl, Carol and Sophia followed. Andrea and T-Dog got in their truck. Dale, Glenn and Jacqui piled in the R.V. with Jim. Daryl stomped past me, "Guess you'll be riding with Shane," Daryl snapped. I felt my heart drop and my shoulders sink. Daryl thought I was with Shane.

"C'mon Jo May," Shane said, standing by the passenger side of the car. I think it was his way of holding the door open; the Jeep didn't have any.

I sat in the seat and folded my arms as we Shane got in the Jeep as everyone started to pull out of the campground. We sped up once we were on the highway and the wind felt good on my skin, blowing my hair away from my neck. I felt tears on my cheeks and realized I had been crying and quickly wiped them away. I was sick of crying. I turned away from Shane and watched the woods fly past us. After awhile, I felt my eyelids grow heavy and I slowly fell asleep.

We drove for two days. Two days in the scorching heat. No food, little water and the heat were taking its toll on all of us. We crept down the highway, stopping once in awhile to scavenge abandoned cars.

Daryl stood behind me with his crossbow as I sifted through the backseat of an old, rusty pickup. I stood up and faced Daryl, wiping the ever present sweat off of my brow, "Nothing but empty snuff cans and dry booze bottles."

"At least he went out happy," Daryl said, "Let's head back," Daryl said, nodding towards the others with full bags. I grabbed my two and Daryl grabbed the third. I looked at him and smiled. He looked away and chewed on his bottom lip.

We were still pretty far from the group, I could see Shane standing on a truck and watching us. I took my chance while I had it, "Ya know… uh, Shane and I aren't together… I mean we're riding in the same car and kind of close but, not really together."

"Okay?" Daryl said in a snippy tone.

"Well, I'm just saying," I snapped back.

"Me too," Daryl said, "Look, it just looks a lot like you two are ya know… getting together. What was I supposed to do?"

We were nearing the R.V. and we both shut up. I mulled things over as we approached, did that mean Daryl liked me? Or what? I don't know. I thought these things were complicated enough before the apocalypse… they should have been easier with only a handful of eligible bachelors.

"What'd ya get," Rick asked, looking at the bags as we all gathered around the R.V.

"Some antibiotics, ibuprofen, blankets, towels," I looked in my bag, "oh and ladies… wait for it… three, brand new, unopened boxes of tampons!"

Lori and Carol applauded and I handed the bags to Rick, who tossed them in storage under the R.V. Shane looked down at his watch, "Let's get going again," he said, "I think we can make it by sundown."

Before any of us could turn to go back our cars, Jacqui came out of the R.V., "Its Jim, I don't think he's gonna make it much longer."

Rick came out and rubbed his face, "He wants us to leave him."

"I'm gonna go on ahead," Shane said, uncomfortably, "See if I can find anything. You riding with me, Jo May?"

I stumbled for words, "I'll stay here," I nodded.

I watched Shane drive off and settled in again. Daryl and I sat next to each other on the roof of Cadillac, cooking in the sun. It was pretty quiet with everyone focused on the R.V. or little tasks here and there; trying to avoid thinking about Jim.

Finally, we decided if Jim wanted to be left, we would do so. I felt like we were abandoning him and I felt awful. I gave his sweaty hand a squeeze and walked back to Daryl who was eyeing Jim and holding his crossbow, I took Daryl's arm, gently pulling him towards the truck, "Yeah, let's get gone," he said, slamming the door once I was settled into the passenger seat.

It was awhile before either of us said anything, "Jim wasn't gonna make it much longer, right? Yeah," I said, mostly reassuring myself more than anything.

Daryl kept his eyes on the road; I could tell he wanted to say something along the lines of "shoulda killed him – just another walker to deal with". That was Daryl.

We were silent the rest of the ride. The sun was slowly setting and the air was cooling down quickly. I rolled up my window and pulled my knees close to me this time out of being cold rather than scared. Daryl pulled off the flannel, pearl snap shirt he had on over a cut off t-shirt and handed it to me, "Here, put this on."

I smiled bashfully and took it. We finally found the city limits and the smell of death was strong.

We drove slowly, lights out in the darkening streets. We followed the signs – all carefully placed, neat little government signs saying "CDC KEEP LEFT" or "CDC TWO BLOCKS". We saw it, finally, a big modern building gleaming with glass and metal. We quietly grabbed our things and walked up to the doors. They weren't opening. Panic washed over all of us. I brushed Daryl's arm with my fingers, needing closeness. We heard the shuffling of feet and the moans of a walker. I'm not sure who yelled it first but, before I could scream Daryl pushed me off to Shane who swung me around behind him.

Daryl took steps towards the geeks, taking them down as he went, "They ain't gonna open," Shane yelled, I found myself being pushed towards the door with his back.

My hands were shaking and I placed them against Shane's back, trying to steady myself as we pushed backwards, away from the crowd of walkers, "Shane don't leave me," I whimpered, uncontrollably, "Please don't leave me here."

"Nobody's gettin' left," Shane said over the gunfire.

They were everywhere – their stench and moaning closing in on us. Daryl took two down with a quiet zing of his bow. Rick and Shane brought down more with their automatic guns. Shane's gun clicked empty and I panicked, he holstered it and pulled another one out from behind him, tucked behind his belt, "We not gonna last long Rick," Shane said, his hand was on my hip, holding me behind him protectively.

"Let's skin outta here," Daryl shouted over the screams of our group and the groans of the zombies.

Shane wrapped an arm around me and we started for the car, avoiding bodies on the ground and walking towards us alike, "Its okay, Jo May," Shane said, "C'mon girl, stick with me."

With a metal screech of miracle the door opened shining a brilliant white light upon us. Shane pushed me in as the door slammed shut behind us.

We stood there for a moment in silence; I hid behind Shane and Daryl. The cold, metal door behind me; I could hear the walkers on the outside, their nails screeched down it and vibrations of their pounding fists shook me, "Who are you," a man's voice called out from the dark hallway.

Everyone who had a gun raised it when we saw that he too was pointing a gun at us, "Okay," Rick said, "Okay… we're just looking for some safety… somewhere to stay. We're out of fuel, almost out of water… we haven't eaten in days."

"Everyone get's tested," the man said, putting down his gun, "This way."

Daryl took my hand and Shane noticed. I held my breath for a second, Shane, with his eyebrow cocked, looked at me and then at Daryl. Shane nodded at Daryl, Daryl nodded back. Men.

Shane followed the group, Daryl and I took up the back. I held his hand tightly, but he held mine firmly as well. We all sat and watched as everyone had their blood drawn. In the quiet, cool room I leaned my head on Daryl's shoulder and dozed off. For the first time in a long time, I didn't dream. I only slept; peacefully, quietly.


	5. Chapter 5

Five

The showers were amazing, with hot water and good shampoo; I would have taken the hot water by itself. After that, I put on some clean clothes (straight out of a washer and dryer) and dried my hair. I even got to straighten it and put on a little makeup. I was feeling nearly one hundred percent better. Unfortunately, all the bathrooms we had been assigned didn't have separate toilets… and I had to pee. I'd been holding it for awhile.

I ran to each of the dorm bathrooms, banging on the doors. They were all occupied and the doors locked. The last one was Daryl's and I pounded on it, "What do ya want," he bellowed from his hot shower.

"Daryl," I said, frantically, "I gotta pee… Please! PLEASE! Let me in!"

"You serious Jo May!"

"I'm fixin' to pee my pants, Daryl," I screeched.

"It's unlocked."

I pushed the door open and scrambled to the toilet. Thank goodness the glass was frosted and it was steamy in there. I still couldn't keep my eyes off of Daryl's outline; very slim, very muscular.

I sat on the stool and waited, nothing, "Daryl," I said, "You gotta sing or something… I can't go…"

"Is this a joke," Daryl said. I answered him with silence, he sighed, "Where it began… I can't begin to know when…"

_Lori cocked her head to the side, "Is that Neil Diamond?"_

_Rick washed the shampoo suds out of his hair and listened too, "I think it's Daryl."_

Daryl was really belting out the song now, "SWEET CAROLINE! BOMP-BOMP-BOMMMP!," he poked his head out of the shower, "C'mon Jo May! If I'm singin' yer singin' too!" It was a good thing I was sitting on the toilet because I would have peed my pants otherwise, "C'mon Jo May! SA-WEET CAROLINE! BOMP-BOMP-BOMMP! GOOD TIMES NEVER FELT SO GOOD!"

I fell in time with Daryl but, elected to do his backup rather than take on a fully fledged solo, "So good, so good, so good!"

Then it was silent, "I don't know the rest of the words," Daryl said, poking his wet head out of the shower again, "What's the rest of the song?"

I shrugged my shoulders as I washed my hands. Then, we heard Dale's voice through the vents that connected the showers, "I've been inclined," he sang loud enough for us all to hear over the showers, "To believe they never would but now…"

More voices came through the vent, this time Glenn, Rick and Lori, "HAAAAND! TOUCHING HAND," Dale joined in again, as did Daryl and I as I dried my hands and Daryl wrapped a towel around his waist, "REACHING OUT! TOUCHING ME! TOUCHING YOOOOU!"

_Jenner sat there, empty wine bottle in front of him, swearing he heard Neil Diamond. There it was again! He walked towards the dorms, were they singing? The chorus of Sweet Caroline answered his question, "SWEET CAROLINE! BOMP-BOMP-BOMMMP!," Jenner turned around and went back to his station, uncorking another bottle of wine._

Daryl tied the towel securely at his waist, "It's all good folks, Jo May as relieved herself thanks to our beautiful voices! You may all go back to your showers."

I was laughing and headed for the door, "Thanks Daryl," I smiled hanging onto the doorknob and looking back at him. He walked up to me and I felt nervous, happy butterflies invade my stomach.

"You look pretty," he said, running a hand through my soft, clean hair. He ran a rough thumb across my cheek and I felt my skin get hot, the red was rising in my cheeks. His other hand came up to hold my face and I looked up at him. His eyes were so blue. His lips came close to mine and stopped and I met him the rest of the way. It wasn't an intense kiss. It was soft, sweet and quick. Daryl pulled away after a moment and grinned. I matched his smile and opened the door, "See you at dinner," he said as I walked away, giggling.

I sat next between Glenn and Dale, across the table from Daryl. Everyone was red in the face from a few glasses of wine. Daryl sat across from me with his own bottle of whiskey. I found myself glancing over at him and smiling when I caught him staring at me.

"So, Jo May," Shane's voice pulled my focus from Daryl, "What did you do in your pageants? Baton twirling? Tap dance? Oh wait, tumbling?"

Shane was in another bad mood but, I laughed off his attitude, "No, I played guitar and sang. Dressed in a little cotton dress with some cowboy boots and sang some sappy song – the judges really ate that up," I grinned, remembering my act. It consisted of timidly walking onstage and then belting out some good music; I rocked it, every time.

"So, you're like Reba of Louisiana," Shane slurred his words.

"Hardly," I said, modestly. In reality, I hated Reba. Her voice was… ew. Too much twang, "I like to think of myself as somewhere between Adele and Sarah McLachlan... ya know?"

"Well, I'm sure you were wonderful," Lori said, saving me from the stares, "Who wants more wine?"

I had nearly three glasses of wine and was already stumbling and giggling like a pro. I carried a bottle of vodka and two glasses and I found. Thankfully, everyone else was asleep. I found Daryl's room and cracked the door, "Mister Dixon," I whispered, "Room service!"

I pushed myself inside and found no one. I flopped down on the bed, set the booze and glasses and felt my eyelids closing quickly. I couldn't fight the drunken sleep much longer.

_Daryl shuffled into the room and saw Jo May sleeping, snoring quietly on the bed. He quietly chuckled when he saw the vodka on the nightstand and set them on the table in the corner, no one wanted to wake up to a hangover and find more alcohol staring into their face. He gently covered her up with the blankets and then changed into some flannel, men's pajama pants he'd found in the closet. It wasn't his usual sleeping attire but, he figured Jo May didn't want to wake up to him naked either._

_He slid into bed next to her and propped himself up on his shoulder, looking at her. Jo May had perfect skin, not a blemish on that creamy, porcelain face of hers. Her lips were naturally dark and plump. Her eyelashes looked like they skimmed her cheeks – they fanned out dark and thick from her closed eyelids. Daryl turned over, pulled the covers up over him and clicked off the bedside lamp, "G'night, Jo May."_

_Daryl woke with a start – he felt cold fingers on his back. He looked at the battery operated clock 3:45 AM. Daryl rolled over and Jo May quickly snuggled into his side. She shivered a moment, mumbled something inaudible and fell back to sleep – her head on his chest._

I woke up late, letting my eyes focus. I slowly stretched and realized Daryl was sleeping underneath me – shirtless. And did he look good without one, I smiled wide because I already knew that. I quickly scooted away, feeling a dull headache coming on. I was surprised by my being in his bed; I must've fallen asleep there. Hopefully I didn't do anything… immoral.

The smell of bacon and eggs caught my nose and my stomach grumbled. I poked Daryl's cheek, "Hey… hey… hey you, wake up."

He swatted my hand away and rolled over, pulling the covers over his head, "Lemme 'lone! Wanna sleep!"

"Fine," I said, patting his back, "I'll eat all that bacon I smell cooking!"

Daryl rolled out of bed and threw on some clothes, grumbling about women and breakfast and being bossy. I threw on one of his warm flannel shirts over the tank top I was wearing, leaving it unbuttoned, "Hey, since when are we sharing our wardrobes?" I buttoned my jeans and pulled on the black flats I had had since the mall.

"Since you started wearing Dolce and Gabbana," I said, twirling around and modeling the shirt.

"Great," Daryl said, rolling his eyes. A second later, "Who's Dolce and Gabbana?"

"Seriously Daryl," I laughed, "Doesn't matter now I spose. Fashion week in Milan is probably on hold for awhile."

We walked together, entering the cafeteria to a warm welcome of good mornings. I poured Daryl and myself a cup of steaming Starbucks brew, "Good morning," I smiled.

"You're sounding… chipper," Glenn said, eyeing Daryl and I. I hadn't realized that sleeping in the same room would raise questions until now.

"Guess I'm starting to warm up to you folks," I winked. I grabbed a plate and scooped some eggs and bacon on it. I definitely was; more to Daryl than anyone. Andrea, since Amy's death had detached herself from the group. She wasn't speaking to me so, I kept my distance. I didn't feel all too safe around her anymore – Daryl on the other hand, made me feel safe and happy.

Since sharing with Shane "the secret" I had felt a great amount of relief, like the pressure of holding that in released a little. I had never imagined I'd have said it to someone like Shane but, I did and I was better off for it.

Of course, a good hot, soapy shower and a particularly off key rendition of Neil Diamond's greatest hits helped a little too.


	6. Chapter 6

Six

We all followed Jenner into the main "computer lab" area of the building. Jenner showed us what the zombie virus was, "Play TS-19," he said, and the screen lit to life. I stood, close to Daryl. It was cold in the room; I suppose it had to be with the computers running. The image of the human brain at work was beautiful, all the lights – the memories, ideas and thoughts – flashing through it. And, then, it was dark. I shivered. It was chilling to see – Daryl's hand wrapped itself around mine but, his face stayed focused on Jenner and the screen, "Here it comes," Jenner said, watching with amazement and bewilderment. The tiniest spark of life made the outline of the body twitch. We watched as the virus attacked the brain and then – something happened – something shot through the head.

"Oh my God," I said, stepping closer to Daryl, "He shot her." Daryl gave me a reassuring squeeze as the screen went blank.

Dale quietly spoke up first, "The clock," he said, nodding to the big, NASA looking timer slowly counting down, "What happens when time runs out?"

"The generators run out of fuel," Jenner said, nonchalantly.

I wanted to go with Rick and the group to the basement but, Daryl made me stay behind. Andrea stood in the corner, eyes red, looking forlorn. I mustered up some courage and walked up to her, "How are you?"

Andrea rolled her eyes and turned away from me, "I know there isn't anything I can do to make the pain go away. I know that much," I said, putting my hand on her back. Silent tears escaped her eyes and I hugged her, awkwardly, from the side; putting my head on her shoulder, "I'm here for you, Andrea," She turned to me, gave my arm a squeeze and kissed the top of my head

"Thank you, Jo May," Andrea said, "I'm sorry… I've been a bitch."

"You had good reason," I said, sitting next to her.

We waited for awhile it seemed like, Jenner just sitting there, staring at the blank computer screen in front of him. There was something foreign in his eyes, something that made my stomach turn. Nothing good was coming from this man, I knew it.

Rick's voiced sounded out in the big room, "Pack your stuff, time to go!"

Daryl walked up to me, "Get our stuff, quick," he said, taking me by the arm, "We gotta get outta here." The big door, leading upstairs, slammed shut with a dooming clang. An, "oh shit," escaped Daryl's mouth. I ran to my room and I threw all of our things into one bag and took bag off towards Daryl. I turned the corner and ran into Shane. I hadn't seen him all day.

"Shane," I said, quickly picking up the things I had dropped.

"Hi Jo May," he said, the scratches on his neck caught my eyes. I ran my fingers over them and Shane pulled away.

"Wanna talk," I asked.

"Just get back with the group," Shane pushed past me, mumbling and shaking his head.

I felt dizzy, letting my and Daryl's bags fall to the floor as Jenner told us that the building was self destructing, "Its better this way," he said, no emotion, "It sets the air on fire. No pain."

I couldn't believe my ears, "Turning the air into fire sounds like a hell of a lot of pain to me," I turned to Daryl, wide eyed and short of breath, "I don't wanna die, Daryl," I squeaked out, "Not in here, not like this."

"We ain't gonna die in here," Daryl said, looking at me, "Open the doors."

I steadied myself on Daryl, I felt like my knees were turning to rubber, "Daryl," I said, "Daryl we have to get out of here." I was panicking.

Daryl squished my face in his hands, "We're. Getting. Out." He pushed me hard to the floor as Shane went on a frenzy and fired bullets into the computers and walls. I covered my ears and pressed my face in Daryl's shoulder. The silence was as deafening as the gunshots echoed off the metal walls. We all stood up slowly – Rick had Shane pinned on the ground.

I paced the floor as Shane and Daryl pounded on the heavy metal doors. Rick pleaded with Jenner but, I felt the feeling wash over me of "this is it." _I wish I had more time, _I thought to myself as I watch Daryl, _If I did, I'd be his girl. Daryl's girl. _I felt hot tears pouring down my face and I slid to the floor, sitting against the wall, _Everything I've been through and this is how it ends. Trapped in the one safe place by a psychotic scientist. Nice. _


	7. Chapter 7

Seven

"Jo May!"

I snapped to when I heard my voice, Daryl was stomping towards me, "What?"

"The door is open," he snapped, "Let's go!"

I was so lost in thought that I hadn't heard or seen the door open; Daryl pulled me up by my arms and practically dragged me and our things out the door. We all blinked against the sunlight pouring through the windows. Daryl sheltered me as Shane shot at the thick glass. I kept my arms wrapped around him when we straightened up, I wasn't letting go this time, "What about Jacqui? Or Jenner," I asked, staring back at the long, dark hallway.

"They ain't comin'," Daryl snapped.

Rick grabbed the grenade from Carol and we all ran behind the corner. I felt like a child, being hauled around by Daryl, one arm around my waist, one holding his crossbow. He was weighed down with our bags and all I could do was cling to him.

The grenade went off and my ears rang. We flew out the window and to our cars, Daryl, Shane and Rick shot down walkers that were coming at the building after hearing the explosion. Daryl threw me into the truck and then came around and jumped in the driver's side, on top of me. I wrapped my arms around him and waited for the explosion. As the self-destruct flames roared around the cars, Daryl looked down at me. I put my hands on either side of his face, "Thank you," I said, and then I kissed him. And for that moment, when he held me back, kissed me back – I wasn't concerned with anything or anyone else, just Daryl.

Daryl sat up and turned on his truck and I scooted close to him, he put his hand on my leg and I put my head on his shoulder. We pulled away from the CDC and I turned back to see the black plume of smoke, the building was being surrounded by walkers; I thanked the Lord they wouldn't find anything.

Then, I looked back to the open road and then at Daryl. He was smiling. He looked at me and I smiled back. He gave my leg a pat and gave the truck a little gas and we roared to our next destination.

Daryl scavenged around with a string of gas cans, filling them up, "I think it's best if we take Merle's motorcycle from now on," Daryl said as we walked back to the group of cars, "Put our stuff in the Winnebago," he said, pouring some gas into the motorcycle that he, Rick and Shane had unloaded.

I strapped the other gas cans to top of the wagon that Rick drove and stood next to Lori and Carol as everyone got ready to go, "You should ride with us, Jo May," Lori said, "Motorcycles are not safe."

I looked up at the sun; I could feel my pale skin baking in it already, "I'll be fine," I smiled. I lifted the black t-shirt up over my shoulders, leaving on the black tank top underneath, "I'm gonna get me a tan, I think."

"Come on if you're comin'," Daryl called, starting up the motorcycle. It rumbled loud and clear. Everyone else walked to their cars and got in. Daryl held my hand firmly while swung my leg over and got comfortable on the bike, wrapping my arms around him. He twisted the throttle and we took off down the empty highway. One good thing out of this walker apocalypse is that the highways were always clear. For awhile.

Daryl and I both hopped off the bike and walked toward the smoking Winnebago, "Dammit," Daryl said, "Can't we just ditch this piece of shit?"

"No, Daryl," Dale said, giving him the evil eye.

"Let's go scavenge up some junk," I said, looking at all the cars.

"No," Lori said, holding onto Carl as usual, "These are people's things. We can't just take what we want."

"To be honest, Lori," Dale said, "I don't think the owners will come back looking for their beef jerky."

I ventured off with Daryl at my side, wielding his crossbow. We walked carefully and quietly. I stopped at a shiny black sports car with pink flower decals on the back window and opened the door, "Nothing we need in there," Daryl scoffed at me.

"Oh hush up," I said, I giggled when I found the makeup bag – no girl I know would let the impending apocalypse stop her from looking pretty. I turned and sat on the driver's seat with my legs out the open door.

"You fer real, Jo May," Daryl asked, leaning on the side of the car and looking down.

"Dang," I said, looking into the bag, "She had good – expensive – taste, I'll give her that! I'm definitely keeping this, here you carry it," I said, holding the pink bag up to him.

"Kiss my ass, Jo May," he said, walking away. I followed him, we scavenged a few more cars but, everything good had been used up or taken already. Daryl and I headed back to the Winnebago and I slipped my arm around his. He held it tight to his side, like a gentleman and lady.

"Wait till I get all this makeup on again, do my hair a little," I giggled, "You'll -."

The smell hit me hard, Daryl and I stopped dead in our tracks. Rick motioned for us to get down but, Daryl was pushing me under a car before it could even register. He slid under with me and put an arm around me and almost lay on top of me as we watched the dead walk by. I had to put my hands over my mouth to keep from making any noises. Daryl held me tighter as I began to shake. The smell was so strong – I wanted to bury my head in Daryl's shoulder but, I was afraid it would be too much movement. Daryl read my mind and held my head against him, "Just close your eyes," Daryl whispered in my ear, so close I felt his lips against it.

After a lifetime – they were gone. I relaxed on the hot pavement, "You okay," I asked Daryl, turning my head.

"Yes ma'am," Daryl said, scooting out from under the car, "Stay put till I tell you it's safe."

I nodded at Daryl, watching his boots silently walk away. I heard screams, someone shouted for Sophia. I panicked and scooted out from under the car. I looked one way and saw the camper, looked the other and saw a walker, stumbling dangerously close to me. I screamed and fell backwards and scooted on my back, cutting my hands on broken glass. The zombie looked like it had once been a housewife. She wore white flats with what was once a pink shirt and khaki pants. She was missing half of her face and her blonde hair had been halfway ripped out, "Help me," I screamed as she fell down and crawled at me now, grabbing at my ankles.


	8. Chapter 8

Eight

I kicked out at her, feeling a shock of adrenaline and anger hit me hard. I stopped calling for help and started beating on the dead woman with the heels of my boots, sending her backwards. I still screamed but it was a low, guttural, raging scream. She crawled at me, clawing with her broken nails and raspy growl. I kicked her back once more, scooting away from her, slicing my hands on shards of broken glass.

An arrow pierced its head with a slick squish and she fell to the ground. I crawled away against a car and sat for a moment.

"I thought I told you to fucking stay here," Daryl said, pulling the arrow out of her head.

"I got scared," I snapped, "That's all. I'm okay… thanks for asking."

"I can't get nothin' done if I have to keep my eyes on you," Daryl shouted back at me, "Now Sophia is gone!"

"It's not my fault," I shouted back, standing up and taking off for the R.V. My hands were oozing blood from the numerous cuts and I needed to get it taken care of before a walker got a whiff and turned around. Dale spotted my hands and walked inside, grabbing the alcohol and some rags.

"Here," he said, running the alcohol over my hands, I winced and wiped them clean with the rags.

"Thanks, Dale," I said, I walked past everyone and went to sit in Rick and Lori's car, nursing my throbbing hands. Everyone was either pissed off or completely scared. Lori must have heard Daryl and came over to the car.

She took the rags out of my hands and dabbed at the cuts until they stopped bleeding, "Sophia will be back with Rick in no time, it was no one's fault, honey," I blew her off and rolled my eyes, tears dripped from my eyes. Lori brushed my hair out of my face, "Hurts more when boys we like say it, huh?"

I nodded and gave me a hug, "Thanks, Lori," I said quietly, hugging her back. We walked back to the group; Daryl stared at me with his squint eyed gaze. I looked away and folded my arms, leaning against a car. We were all fairly quite as we waited; the sun was setting before Rick and Shane got back.

"We'll split up in the morning," Rick said, Carol huffed, began crying and walked away, "It's the best I can do."

Everyone disappeared to their cars, Shane and I stood there watching, "Hands okay, Jo," he asked, jumping up onto the roof of an SUV. I stared up at him and he extended a hand, I took it and he pulled me up. We sat on the roof as the sun set and the moon came out, bathing the cars in a silvery glow.

"Can I go with you and Rick in the morning," I asked, avoiding Shane's eye contact.

"No," Shane said, "Why would you want to go anyway?"

"Cause I don't want to be stuck here with Daryl," I said, shaking my head at the juvenile thought.

Shane chuckled, "Fighting are ya," he asked, I ignored him. Shane sighed, "I guess you can. You'll have to carry your own and you'll have to ask Rick first."

"Thanks, Shane," I said, smiling. I gave him a hug and we jumped when Dale's camper door shot open, banging against the outside.

"Jo May," Daryl called out, "C'mere."

"Should probably go," Shane said, releasing me. I nodded and jumped off of the car, "I'll wake you up in the morning."

I trotted over to Daryl, "What do you want?"

"You inside so I don't have to worry," he said, "I'm going for a walk."

I stood on the stairs of the Winnebago, Andrea sat on the couch, staring at me, "Why do you listen to him? I'd tell him to suck it and stay right where I was."

"Cause it's easier to just go with it," I said, sitting next to her. I kicked off my shoes and brought my legs up to my chest, "Things don't hurt so badly if you just go with it."

_Andrea felt bad for not taking care of Jo May as of late. The poor kid was getting mixed up Shane and Daryl. Lori knew that Jo May's heart was bound to get broken; she acted like it already was._

I slowly opened my eyes and jumped up, Shane was kneeling down by the couch, right in front of me, "Calm down," he said, "Gonna leave as soon as the sun is up."

I nodded and quietly maneuvered through the people sleeping and bags of luggage. I stepped outside; Rick, Shane and Carl were waiting for me. The air was still and already warming up as the sun rose in the sky. Rick handed me a gun, "Don't use it unless we can't help. The noise might draw walkers."

I nodded, "You seen Daryl around?"

"No," Shane said as we walked down into the woods, "I don't think he knows you're going with us."

"Good," I said, stepping over fallen branches and piles of leaves, "We'd have hillbilly hell on our hands before too long if he did."

The day was the hottest ever… since the last hottest day ever. Sweat dripped down my face, my hair was wet; even up in a ponytail. I had shed my flannel button up shirt and tied it around my waist, wearing a black tank top with the jean shorts and hiking boots. Rick and Carl walked a ways to the left of us, I could barely hear them talking. Shane and I walked together. Finally, he spoke, "So you and Daryl, huh?"

_Shane was a little depressed that Jo May would pick Daryl without even attempting to get with him. Daryl was not Shane's favorite person t be around, although he was an asset to the group – he was such a dick._

I smiled a little, "Guess so."

"Ya know, you don't have to go off and sleep with a guy just to make sure you're protected."

My face got really red, "Oh… um… Daryl and I haven't slept together. Like, we slept in the same bed at the CDC… uh… but we didn't do _that."_

Shane looked at me and his face softened, "Sorry."

"That's okay," I said, I realized my fists were clenched and I stretched out my fingers and looked at my palms, crescent shaped red marks, indented into my skin, "Are you doing okay, Shane? You've been pretty quiet since the CDC."

"Yeah," he said, running a hand through his thick, dark hair.

Rick called us both and we met up in a clearing with him and Carl, "I'm not seeing anything," Rick said, looking around, his hands on his hips.

Shane nodded. Carl and I stood off to the side while they talked. We heard a rustling in the bushes and Rick and Shane had their guns drawn before Carl and I could react. A deer with velvet antlers trotted out of the foliage. Carl walked up to it slowly, the three of us watching. The deer didn't seem bothered by us and kept sniffing and munching leaves. Carl was so close. And then, Carl shot backwards and the deer fell down dead. Blood seeped through Carl's shirt as a gunshot rang out in the forest. Shane and Rick flew past me as a giant man with a gun emerged from the foliage, "I didn't see him! I swear! Oh my God!"

Rick knelt by his son, I stood next to Shane with my hands over my mouth. Carl's skin was already a milky grey color, he was limp in his father's arms, "Take us to the place then," Shane screamed as Rick picked Carl up and the man swallowed after he finished saying which direction this farm was at.

Rick took off in that direction, "Let's go, Jo May," I exhaled after what seemed like forever and took off after Shane, I quickly passed this new Otis, fellow. It didn't take long in the heat and humidity for me to get winded. We ran for half an hour longer before I saw the farm. We came out of the woods, feet stomping because they felt like they were stuck in concrete. An older man came running out of the house, followed by a few women, "Help my son."


	9. Chapter 9

Nine

I sat on the porch steps, the sun was setting and the air was still. Shane and Otis had gone for supplies to save Carl. Lori and Rick were inside with their son. It was so quiet. I worried about Daryl, Andrea, Carol and everyone else. Wondered if they found Sophia. Lori came out of the house and put her palms on her temples, "Anything different," I asked, still staring at the ground.

"If they don't get back soon, we're going to have to go ahead and do it without the supplies," she said, her voice shook a little. I stood up and gave her a hug; I wasn't sure what to say, so I remained quiet. Rick called Lori from inside and she gave me a short squeeze and then ran back in.

The next morning, I woke up on the porch swing I had fallen asleep on. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and walked inside, "Did anybody show up last night," I asked, Hershel. I was beginning to worry about Shane and Otis, this kind of thing was usually easy for Shane. He was good at it.

"No, they did not," he replied, pouring us both a cup of coffee, "If they don't arrive in the next few hours, we'll be in a pickle."

I nodded and walked back outside. It was a beautiful farm. The pastures were green grass or yellow wheat, standing tall and golden, baking in the sun. Horses in one pasture, cows in another and I could hear chickens clucking from a henhouse. I walked out to the horses and clicked at them to come. They raised their heads but, quickly continued munching on the grass, "They're spoiled rotten," Maggie, Hershel's daughter, said walking up to me. I jumped a little, not hearing her approach, "Won't come unless you have food for 'em."

I smiled but, said nothing otherwise. Maggie continued, "You know Rick and Lori?"

"Yes," I answered, "I'm a part of their group."

"How many others in your group?"

Before I could answer, we both heard the car speeding up the gravel driveway, "Shane!" I screamed and sprinted toward him. He was out of the car and handing the supplies off to Lori and Rick before I could reach him, "Shane!" I called again. He was bloody, tired and out of breath but I jumped on him anyway, hugging him, "I was so worried about you," I said as he hugged me back. He set me down after a moment, "Where's Otis," I asked, looking around.

"He didn't make it," Shane said, quietly.

I nodded, silently, "Go rest. I'll find you some dinner," I hugged him again and followed him inside.

Shane was sleeping like a rock on the porch swing with a gun on his lap. I was on the couch, unable to fall asleep. The surgery on Carl went well although; we wouldn't really know anything until he was awake. T-Dog and Glenn had arrived earlier and they were asleep on the floor, at least T-Dog was. Glenn sighed and I turned my head to look down at him, "Daryl is okay?"

"Yeah," Glenn said, "Him and Andrea went to look for Sophia some more. I don't think he could stand Carol's crying."

"He's sensitive like that," I said, shaking my head.

After a few minutes, it was quiet and Glenn was snoring quietly. The house was silent. It had been a long time since I was in a home. Let alone, slept on cushions. It was lovely. As the moon shown in the windows, I felt my eyes closing, "Goodnight Daryl."

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty," Shane's voice woke me up. He was sitting on the edge of the couch. He brushed my hair back, his fingers gently running from my hairline backwards.

"Let me sleep just a little longer," I begged, pulling the blanket up over my face.

"Well fine but, the Winnebago is coming down the street. There's a motorcycle, too," Shane said, jumping out of my way as I flung off the blanket and shot out the door, barefoot. I ran up to Daryl and hugged him, throwing my arms around his neck and holding him tight.

"I'm so glad you found us," I said into his neck, "I missed you," I said into his chest, he hugged me back; "Did you find Sophia?" I asked, looking up at him, I missed those blue eyes. Daryl shook his head and my shoulders sank, I thought for sure he would have been able to track her; he had shown me how to do it back when we camped near the city.

I greeted everyone else but, kept close to Daryl. We set up tents under a clump of trees away from the house a bit, but still protected by the fences and long driveway. I put my little green tent in between Shane's and Rick and Lori's. I'd be safest there, without Daryl around.

Daryl put his tent out away, "Wanna be able to know if something is coming before it gets all the way up here," Daryl said. I followed him out to his little black tent with a basket of his clothes, a few bottles of water and some snacks; although I'm sure he'd rather kill something and eat it. He held the flap open for me and I walked inside, it was tall enough for us both to stand straight up but, barely long enough for us to stretch out flat. We stood close together and I hugged him again, "You're like a little stick tight monkey," Daryl said, flopping down onto his little foam mattress and sleeping bag. He was tired and I could tell he hadn't been sleeping. I sat next to him and brushed the hair out of his face, "You should head back before it gets dark."

"I wanna stay with you," I said lying down on my stomach and putting my head on his chest, "I missed you."

"I'm gonna go out and look for Sophia in a bit," he said, putting his hands behind his head.

"I'll go with you," I replied quickly. It would be nice to get away from the group with just Daryl. He sighed and I got the hint, "You don't want me to come," I said, sitting back up, "You're still mad at me."

Daryl sat up too, "I'm not mad, Jo May," chewing on the side of his thumb, "I just don't want to have to worry about you out there, got it?"

"Sure," I said, standing up and stomping out of the tent. Daryl didn't follow me but, I heard him cursing and throwing things around inside his tent.

"_Dammit," Daryl huffed, "Stupid women. Can't do anything right by em!" He was just looking out for her; he didn't want her to get hurt. And he didn't feel like being around her would release any tension. Walking around in those shorts and tank top would only make things harder. Daryl knew she didn't want what he did._

I huffed back to the campsite, "What's got your panties in a wad," Shane said, sitting in front of a little campfire, everyone else was sleeping. It had been a long three days.

"Leave me alone," I snapped, walking into my tent and sitting on the cot. Shane walked in a few moments later, "Didn't you get the memo?," I snapped again.

"Chill out, Miss Thing," Shane said sitting next to me and handed me a bottle of water. I took it, silently brewing.

"I worried for three damn days about him and he won't even let me tag along," I vented, "I kept up with you guys, didn't I? I can take care of myself, for the most part can't I?"

"I think you might be safer here," Shane took Daryl's side. Which made me even angrier, "You can take care of yourself but, Daryl might be more useful if he's not looking at you all the time."

I grinned a little, "He's looking at me, huh?"

"Every time you come around," Shane said, he rubbed his eyes, looking tired, "Trust me; I know it's easier to focus when you don't have distractions like you ladies around."

"You mean Lori," I said, picking at the edge of the blankets on my cot.

Shane looked at me for a second, "Yeah, I do. Is it that obvious?"

"I've known since I first met you," I said, picking at the frayed edge of my shorts, "The way you look at her. The way you look at Carl; it's obvious you care for them. Even the way you look at Rick."

Shane looked at me, his eyes were wide and he stood up, "You should get some sleep Jo May," he bent down, kissed the top of my head and walked out.

The men around here were so confusing.

Rick's voice sounding outside, towards the house; I stood up and walked outside. The air was cooler than in the tent, Shane gave me a pat on the back and I smiled at him. Dale watched us suspiciously. Shane and Dale hadn't been getting along; as a matter of fact, no one got along with Shane after Rick came around. Which was bittersweet, Shane was a good leader but, Rick had more of a conscience and that made him a better one.

Everyone gathered around Rick and Lori who stood on the deck, "Hershel has asked me that we don't carry guns around the farm," Rick said, staring at Shane; awaiting a reaction. I felt a hand on my back and turned to see Daryl, he didn't look at me but up at Rick.

"How we supposed to protect ourselves then, huh," Daryl asked, already ticked off at the idea.

Shane nodded his head, "That's bullshit, Rick. These guns are the only things we got to protect us."

Rick held up his hands, "It's Hershel's farm, his rules. We'll keep lookouts, have plenty of time to grab guns if we need to."

Shane shook his head, "This is ridiculous. Somebody gonna die cause of this," he stormed off, shaking his head and cursing under his breath.

Rick watched him go for a moment, "We'll keep the guns in the Winnebago, safe and sound. Nobody gets one unless the let me know first? Understand?"

We all nodded and went back to setting up camp. Daryl stayed around this time, we sat in front of my tent, Daryl worked on making some new arrows and I was sewing up holes in shirts and patches on pants for everyone, "Want you to stay close to me when I'm here and to Rick when I'm not," Daryl said quietly, eyeing Dale – who eyed him back.

"You men are all like little boys," I said, "Ya'll need to start getting along before I go nuts."

"It's not that I don't like em," Daryl said, "Don't trust 'em enough to protect the group."

That was true. We all looked up as Hershel came out of the house and stood on the porch, hands in his pockets. He inspected our little campsite. Daryl stared at him, eyes squinted at Hershel as he sliced away at the stick he was turning into an arrow, "Daryl," I whispered, keeping my eyes down on one of Dale's shirts, "Stop it."

Daryl gathered up his things and I stood up to walk back with him, he let me walk just out of the firelight and vision of our group, "You stay here, how many times I have to tell ya?"

"I was just going to say goodnight," I said, crossing my arms. I was starting to feel hurt with all of Daryl's snappiness. It not only was annoying but, it was uncalled for. If anyone was gonna be crabby, it was me. But, I held my tongue and walked away.

Daryl's had caught my arm, "Jo may, hey wait," he said quietly, I tensed up as me pulled me close to him and he loosened his grip on my arm, "I'm sorry I said that about you and Sophia, okay," I nodded at him, "I'll see you in the morning, a'ight? I'll say goodbye before I leave," I nodded again and he kissed me, "Stay here."

I said goodnight to everyone and slipped into my tent, smiling. I crawled in my cot and fell asleep; waiting for morning.


	10. Chapter 10

Ten

"Jo May," I heard Daryl's voice in the darkness and felt a body against me, sitting on the bed, "Jo May, I'm leaving."

I opened my eyes, it was barely light out. I could see Daryl's outline, I stretched and sat up, "Are you sure I can't go with you?"

"Positive," Daryl said, I slipped my hand in his and he lifted it to his lips and kissed it, "Just stay close to Rick… Shane if you have to."

"Okay," I said, "Promise you'll come back soon, okay? Don't be gone for days," I wrapped my arms around his torso and put my head in the curve of his shoulder. He was so warm in the chilly morning, I wanted to pull him under the blankets with me and sleep the rest of the day.

"I gotta go," Daryl said, "do as I said or I'll whoop your ass."

"Yes sir," I smiled and kissed him. He stood up and silently walked out of the tent and into the morning light. I laid back down and shivered, the nights were quickly getting colder. I couldn't sleep. I crawled out of bed and slowly dressed, I slipped outside and threw a couple of sticks on the fire to get the smoldering coals going again. It was going to feel like forever until Daryl returned. I stared into the fire thinking about Sophia, I doubted she was still alive. I thought about my parents, they were probably dead. Or worse. I didn't know where they had been taken or where they went but, I figured they didn't get far if they went into the city. And then, with the pictures of my parents being drug one way and me the other, I remembered those few days after. Tied up, hungry, thirsty and in pain. If felt strange that I wasn't crying about it anymore; I only felt a tightening in my chest and a lump in my throat. Rick came out of his tent and I jumped a little.

"Can't sleep," Rick said, sitting next to me in a lawn chair.

"Me too," I said, tossing some trash on the fire and poking it with a stick.

"You don't have to worry anymore, Jo May," Rick said, staring at me, "Shane told me."

I felt my face flush red and my eyes widened, "He did what?"

"Told me what happened," Rick said, knowingly, "What happened to you. I'm so sorry that it did."

My mouth opened and closed, "I, uh… well," my bottom lip quivered and I drew in a ragged breath but I did not cry, "Please don't tell anyone, Rick."

Rick nodded and I trusted him, "You tell me when you're ready."

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready," I admitted, "I told Shane because… I don't really know why."

"Jo May, ya know, Shane and I used to handle this kind of stuff all the time," Ricks said, taking one of my hands in his, "We can help."

"I know," I said, "I guess… I guess I just want to try to forget it. But… its hard. I dream about it every night."

Lori and Andrea came out of their tents at the same time, Rick let go of my hand, "You let me know when you're ready."

I nodded and went back to staring at the fire, "We're up early," Lori said, kissing Rick and sitting next to him.

Andrea sat next to me and gave me a hug, "How are you feeling? You look tired," she said, tucking my mop of hair behind my ears.

"Daryl left this morning," I said, yawning, "I didn't sleep well. Been up for awhile."

Soon the farm was bustling and busy. Hershel and Maggie were fixing fences, his wife was caring for the animals and their farmhand was busy elsewhere. Shane and I took the truck out to collect firewood. We quietly talked as Shane chunked an axe into a fallen, dead tree and I chucked the pieces into the back of the truck. The manual labor kept my mind off of Daryl. I debated whether I should bring it up but Shane beat me to it, "Hey Jo May, I told Rick about what you told me," Shane said, sitting down on the tailgate and wiping the sweat off of his face.

I sat next to him, "I know," I chewed on one of my nails and spit the edge out into the dirt. It was a nasty habit and my mama would have doused my fingertip in cayenne pepper if she saw me doing it. I looked over to him and he looked sorry, genuinely sorry, "It's okay. If anyone should have to know, it's you two."

"Does Daryl know," Shane asked, casually.

"No," I answered, staring off into the trees, "I don't want anyone else to know, okay?" I was getting annoyed with everyone wanted to talk about it when I wanted to forget.

"You can tell us you know," Shane said, "They won't think any less of you. I didn't… if anything I thought more."

"I don't want that to be my label," I said, standing up, "I don't want people to look at me and see that. I don't want to be the girl that got raped," I slammed my hand down on the side of the truck and hopped off the tailgate, Shane followed as I walked deeper into the woods, "How'm I supposed to tell Daryl, huh? He's not gonna wanna be with me after I've been all busted up?"

"We need to head back, Jo," Shane said, "We're getting pretty far away."

I turned around on my heel and ran into Shane, "let's just go back," I said, "I don't wanna talk about it anymore."

"Jo-," Shane sighed.

"ANYMORE!"


	11. Chapter 11

Eleven

The day was cool, the sun was high in the sky but a cool breeze floated through camp. Everyone relaxed. Carl was sitting outside next to Rick and Shane on the steps, Lori and Carol were on the porch swing, Hershel sat in a rocking chair. Glenn and Maggie were out by the horses, Andrea on the roof of the Winnebago and Dale sitting under the trees next to T-Dog, talking together quietly. I was at the the fence line along the woods and decided to head back; no signs of Daryl. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and drug my feet back to camp.

I shielded my eyes with my hand on my forehead as I looked up at Andrea, on top of the camper, "Any sign of him," I asked. Daryl had been gone for almost two days now. Andrea shook her head, "He should have been back that same day," I said softly, "He said he would."

"Daryl is probably just holding a squirrel massacre," Andrea giggled, "He's fine, Jo May."

I headed back up to the farmhouse where Shane was sitting on the steps; Carol and Lori were sitting up on the porch swing. I sat next to Shane, "I'm sorry I went off on you," I whispered, staring at the ground.

"Its aight," Shane said, looking out at the fields.

Shane and I were silent, Carol jabbered in Lori's ear, "Daryl went out to look for Sophia you know," her smiled and folded her hands neatly in her lap, "He gave me a rose yesterday, a Cherokee Rose and told me a beautiful story. He's been looking so hard for Sophia. He's such a good man. We're lucky to have him in the group. I'm so lucky he's so headstrong about Sophia," Shane turned to look at Carol and Lori. I shook my head, scoffed and stomped off, "What's wrong with Jo May," Carol asked, completely oblivious.

I climbed up on top of the camper with Andrea, "What's up your butt," she asked as I huffed down in a lawn chair beside her.

"Why doesn't Carol go out and look for Sophia instead of sitting around crying all day? Guilt tripping Daryl into going out there," I bounced my heel up and down out of frustration and chewed on my nails.

"I heard her talking," Andrea said, "I think she's too out of it to realize."

"You think Sophia is still out there," I asked quietly.

"No," Andrea said, lowering her voice too, "She's dead or she's a walker. We need to move on."

I nodded, "I think Shane wants to."

"I think we all do," Lori said, she looked off towards the woods, "What's that?"

I stood up, "Shane! Rick! Walker!"

Shane was off the porch, grabbing things out of the camper: bats, crow bars, shovels and passing them out to T-Dog, Rick and himself. The three took off and I climbed down the R.V., following them. We all stopped short of Daryl, "Daryl," I called, "Daryl?"


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for all the great reviews, you guys rock! Again, I don't own anything Walking Dead or Sun Kil Moon.

Thanks for reading :)

Twelve

Daryl slept while we ate. He could barely keep his eyes open while I was with him; he was safe, he was sleeping so I let him be. Carl, Beth, Maggie and I helped clear away the food and the dishes from the tables. Shane and I did the dishes. Every time rinsed one of, Shane would bump my elbow and sink the plate back into the sudsy water, "Don't mess up," he chuckled, "Don't mess up Jo May… gotta do that one again, sista."

"Shane you are such a jerk," I laughed elbowing him back.

"You keep dropping the dishes," he said, "Not me!"

Carol came in the kitchen in a huff, "I guess _I'll_ take some food up to Daryl."

"He's sleeping," I said, "I figured he could eat when he was awake."

"He needs to eat," Carol said, scooping some cooked carrots, mashed potatoes and a piece of chicken onto a plate. She never looked at me.

"Jo May," Rick said, who had been leaning on the counter the entire time, arms folded, silently watching, "Let it go."

I looked at Rick and went back to scrubbing the dirty plates; Shane didn't joke around anymore. We were silent. Carol came downstairs, her lips pursed together, she folded her arms, "Daryl was asking for you."

"I'll finish up," Shane said, pushing me away from the sink with his hip.

"Thanks," I said, I walked quickly past Carol and took the stairs two at a time. I pushed open the door, nearly falling in, "Hey," I said as casually as I could. I sat on the bed and Daryl's hand quickly found my, "How are you feeling?"

"About as good as I look," he said, lacing my fingers with his.

"Praise Jesus," I said loudly, "This man is healed! Completely!"

"Cute," Daryl said, his eyelids closed for a long time, he was beat. He looked at me again, the corners of his mouth pulled up and he pulled me down next to him, resting his arm on my side, underneath mine.

"No more adventures," I said, feeling tired as soon as my head hit the pillow. I hadn't realized it but, I missed beds. The one at the CDC had been comfortable but, neither it nor my cot could compare to this one. Not too hard, not too soft. The cool pillow felt good on my skin.

"Deal," Daryl said, he closed his eyes once more, put his forehead against mine, and fell asleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night and found Daryl lying against my back, his arms around me and his breath on my neck. It was soothing, his breathing, rhythmic, warm. His arms felt strong around me; I felt tiny against him as my feet touched his shins and his shoulder towered over mine. I stretched a little and Daryl held strong. I fell back to sleep without any worries.

Glenn and I cleaned up camp. We raked the leaves and sticks that had fallen from the trees above us and chucked them into a barrel to use for kindling, "You know what I want," Glenn said, leaning against the barrel and wiping the sweat off of his face; the day was miserably hot and muggy, no wind – not even a breeze.

"Snow," I said, setting to work on the crumbling fire ring.

"A milkshake, double chocolate, and an order of French fries that are really salty," he said, scooping the ashes into a bucket.

"I'd love some of those chocolate covered cherries," I said, dreamily, "The ones with the cordial inside."

"I WANT A DOUBLE BACON CHEESEBURGER WIH THE WORKS," Daryl yelled out of my tent. He had been resting in there all day. He took a pretty could knock in the head from Andrea's bullet and was still a little loopy. Or so he said… he liked to milk that kind of stuff.

Lunchtime came around and so did everyone else. Cold chicken sandwiches and chips on paper plates went around and we all munched noisily, "We're gonna go out and do some target practice," Shane said to me as we collected the trash and walked it out to the pit, "You should come."

"Maybe I should stay with Daryl," I said, heaving the trash bags in the pit, "He's still a little unsteady."

"Daryl will be fine," Shane said, "I want you to come and shoot."

"You're so bossy," I laughed, playfully shoving his arm, "I guess I'll come."

Shane began to walk back to the R.V., "Just don't shoot me… ya know, you have a history with firearms."

"Shut up," I laughed and walked into the tent, Daryl was sleeping. I sat next to him, "Hey, I'm gonna go do some target practice with everyone."

"Sure," Daryl mumbled, rolling over and burying his face in the pillow, "Don't shoot anyone in the foot."

"Thanks for the support," I said, pinching his arm.

"Ow," he said, sarcastically, "Stop. Please… you're so strong."

I slapped his butt and then walked out, running to catch up with the group that was already headed out to the pasture, "There she is," Rick said as I walked next to Shane, "Didn't think you were coming, Jo May."

"Well, I better learn how to shoot something," I said, "Who knows when Shane here will need to get put back in line."

Rick laughed and I giggled as Shane shook his head, "You best watch yourself, little miss," Shane said, throwing an arm around my neck and pulling me close. I threw and arm around his shoulders and we walked together. Shane was like the big brother I needed. I was an only child but, had longed for the companionship of an older sibling; someone to protect me and listen to my problems.

Shane stood behind me, hands around mine as we both held the pistol, "Now take a deep breath," he said, "Find your target… Don't pull the trigger… just give it a little squeeze," The gun went off and the glass bottle on the fence post remained unscathed, "That's okay, first time is the worst."

The next twenty times were horrible too. The fence post was ridden with bullet holes and the ground behind it looked like a plow had run through it, "I'm no good at this," I said, turning around to look at Rick and Shane who had their hands on their hips, trying to conceal their smiles.

"Yeah," Shane said, "You are pretty bad."

"Just give it one more shot," Andrea said, walking up next to Shane, "Pretend it's someone who really pisses you off."

I turned back to the bottle, staring at it and then I lifted the pistol and pulled the trigger. The bottle exploded and then the one next to it and the one next to that, "That's what I'm talking about," Shane said, picking me up. I laughed and handed the gun off to Rick, "Thanks," Shane said, "Didn't wanna get my toes blown off."

"I am never gonna live that down," I said as we started the walk back to the house, the wind started to pick up and the trees creaked in the woods.

Hershel was sitting on the front porch, rocking in his chair, "How did your practice go?"

"Alright," Rick said, "We definitely needed it."

"Storm's coming," he said, "You all best plan on sleeping in the house tonight."

"Thank you, Hershel," Rick said, "Let's get the things that we need for the night and head in."

As the dark clouds rolled in and the wind picked up, Daryl and I packed up our clothes into trash bags to keep the water out. We took our blankets and pillows inside just as the rain started to pour.

"You can have the living room to yourselves," Hershel said, "We have the spare bedroom to whoever wants it."

"Thanks," Rick said, Hershel nodded and walked to the kitchen.

The lightning flashed and the thunder made the house shake, I thought the wind would blow us all away. Glenn brought me the guitar he had found, "How about we have you play for us," he said, he sat on the floor, against the wall, "Haven't heard music in a long time."

"Oh… uh… okay," I said, the cool wood of the guitar felt vaguely familiar; like that life was far away, "This was my favorite song," I said, I looked at Daryl next to me as I adjusted the guitar underneath my arm. It took me a moment to remember the music but, as I strummed the first few notes, it all came rushing back to me. And I sang:

No this is not my guitar  
I'm bringing it to a friend  
And no I don't sing  
I'm only humming along

Up here in the air  
I'm just mumbling at the clouds  
Wanting to be known  
While I pass the lonely hours

I came down from the room  
I saw you in the rain  
Laughing with some people  
Hair dripping down your face

Your calm hypnotic eyes  
Your Scandinavian glow  
I felt them like a flame  
Candle in my cold bones

Tonight you were my muse  
As I belted and I strummed  
Trying not to drown  
In the helicopter drone

Alesund

From the crowd I heard  
You sing a pretty line  
Was it there so much longer  
That I wanna cry

I thought about it long  
Had you repeated in my ear  
"I couldn't place a thought  
Without you being so close"

_They all listened. Daryl realized how easy it would have been for Jo May to win those contests; with that voice she had it in the bag. It was soft, gentle but strong and clear. Every ear was listening; their eyes were elsewhere, thinking about before the outbreak, meeting everyone and making the camp by the quarry, the CDC, the road to Hershel's farm. Daryl wished he had grown up in Belle Ree, been Jo May's neighbor. Maybe he wouldn't have to out to be such a hillbilly; finished school, gotten a good job. But then, he probably wouldn't have lasted long when the walker's came; he wouldn't have been able to protect Jo May._

Alesund

Should've played it then  
From the intro to the end  
When they offered me the stage  
At the bar we landed in

But I turned and walked  
Away from all the fun  
And back into the black  
Seaside night of Alesund

Alesund


	13. Chapter 13

Thirteen

We slept on the floor like a pile of dogs. It was dark, the rain still poured and the wind still blew but thunder and lightning and stopped. I slept between the wall and Daryl. Daryl never let me sleep in the open. It was always Daryl between me and the door. I had dozed off but, the hard floor made it difficult to stay asleep for long. I rolled over and found Daryl awake too, "Hey," I whispered.

"Hey," he replied.

"How's your head," I asked, gently running my finger next to the cut on his head.

"It's okay as long as you keep your finger out of it," Daryl said, taking my hand in his.

Daryl turned and lay on his back and I used his shoulder as a pillow. I felt my eyes growing heavy again and pulled my blanket up over me and fell asleep.

The next day proved to be as muggy and hot as any other day. I missed air conditioning. I'd give my left foot for twenty minutes in it. We finished our chores fairly early in the morning and took to lounging in the shade the rest of the hot day. Glenn was quiet, I could tell something was on his mind. He always stared at the ground with his lips pursed when he wasn't happy. Finally, he stood up, "There are walkers in the barn."

Everyone sat up slowly, "What'd you say," Daryl asked, eyeing Glenn. Daryl must've thought Glenn was joking.

"Hershel has walkers, locked up in the barn," Glenn said again, "I saw them."

"Daryl," Shane said, standing up and heading towards the barn.

"Yep," Daryl said, following him. I walked behind Daryl, a pit growing in my stomach. Maybe it was just an accident; Hershel couldn't have known they were in barn. Daryl held out his hand behind him and firmly clutched my waist, holding me behind him; away from the church. The two heavy doors were chained shut, Shane lifted the board across the doors and they pushed out, rotting hands and arms reaching from inside. Daryl's grip tightened on my hip, "Motherfucker."

After that, Shane put a guard in front of the barn at all times. Camp was dead silent as Andrea took her turn, Daryl said he was going out to look for any deer around, "I'm gonna stay here," I said, sitting in the porch swing, my legs drawn up underneath me.

"See you later," he said in his usual mumbling voice. He stomped off the porch and I jumped up to follow him.

"Daryl," I called his name and caught up to him, my fingers brushing against his arm. I stood on my toes and kissed his lips, softly and quickly. I ran my fingers over the scruff that never seemed to go away or get any longer for that matter, "Come when it gets dark this time, alright? No more all nighters."

The corner of Daryl's mouth twitched a bit, "You gonna miss me?"

"Would you stay in I said yes," I grinned.

Daryl's arm snaked its way around the small of my back and he pulled me close to him and I wrapped my arms underneath his. He kissed me again and I smiled against his lips. He ran a hand through my hair, pushing it back from my forehead, out of my face, "I won't be out long. I'll stick close," he voice was low and his eyes were soft. A new look.

I kissed him once more, "Go find me some food," I stepped back and let him walk off. Watching him (and, I'll admit it, his backside) walk away. I walked, on air, to our unoccupied camp. The pinnacle of horrible things happening and here I was, smiling like a fool. I went into my tent that had slowly turned into _our _tent. Even though Daryl never slept the night, he was there when I fell asleep and _always _there when I woke up. The past few days I had become completely aware of how I looked around Daryl; conscious of the clothes I was wearing, the makeup that I wasn't, and the grime underneath my nails. I went to work on all of that: brushing my hair, scrounging some used up mascara out of the bottom of my baskets that doubled as a dresser. I gave myself a manicure, a post apocalyptic manicure.

I hear yelling, screaming and then gunshots.

I barrel out of the tent and scan the farm for the scene, there in front of the barn: Shane watched a walker on the end of a rope fall to the ground. I run blindly as I see Shane running away from an opening barn door. I skidded into Shane and he looked down on me, rage and power and might flashed in his eyes. He pushed me, protectively away and I fell back into the dusty dirt and watched in horror as walker after walker exited the barn and shot after shot, they dropped dead for the second and final time.

And then, as quickly as it had begun it was over. It was silent. Shane dropped his empty gun and picked me up by the elbow, nodding to Daryl. One more hiss, a walker whispered in the barn. A tiny, frail frame stepped out from the barn. The entire group recognized her and Carol began to scream, she ran towards Sophia but Daryl held her back. Some sort of sick, jealous thing inside me clicked and I felt anger boil up inside of me as she clung to Daryl; touching his arms and legs, burying her face in his chest. I felt my heart racing in fear, anger and sadness. I was embarrassed because I was feeling all of those when I should have only felt sadness for Carol, pity for Sophia.

I coughed a bit, the stench of the walkers began to ooze in the still air. I covered my mouth and nose with the back of my hand. Hershel, wide eyed and shaken, turned to go to the house. Shane followed. I found myself unable to move, Andrea came over and turned me away from the bodies, "You okay," she whispered.

"Yeah, I'm good," I choked out.

We decided to bury Sophia and Hershel's wife and stepson; to burn the rest. Daryl was fuming as we quietly walked to the graves, "Won't go to her own kid's funeral," he gritted his teeth, "After all the hoops we jumped through lookin' for her."

I remained silent as we stood in front of the three graves, my hands on Daryl's forearm, and my head on his shoulder. I felt different today. The death of Sophia and Hershel's family and friends was sad but, I wasn't necessarily sad. It was a bit depressing that the culling had to be done but we would have suffered if it hadn't. Who knows who would have been hurt looking for Sophia next. Daryl almost _died. _ I turned my head and pressed my lips on his strong, hard shoulder. His own lips brushed my forehead.

The group departed, I followed Daryl to his tent. He sat down on the edge of his cot and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. I crawled behind him and wrapped my arms around him, kissing the side of his face. He pressed his head against mine and rested his hands on my arms. We stayed like this for a moment, thoughts of Carol and Daryl eating away at me like acid.


	14. Chapter 14

Fourteen

I nodded off, my head rolling around on Daryl's shoulder. We sat on the front porch, all of us, waiting for the return of Shane with Lori… or Rick and Glenn with Hershel. Everyone was running around the countryside, chasing someone. Daryl stood and pulled me up with him, "Let's go to bed," he said, holding me close and walking towards our tent. I more than willingly crawled onto my inviting makeshift bed and waited for Daryl. A moment later, he slid in next to me, shirtless. I squirmed a bit, getting comfortable under the covers and next to Daryl; my seemingly favorite spot.

"Don't wander off tonight," I mumbled through sleep, "No more people wandering off."

"Shush up and sleep," Daryl sighed, his arm around me.

The sound of Lori's and Shane's yelling voices woke Daryl and I up with a start. We stumbled out of the tent, Daryl still shirtless and my hair in a mess, "What's going on," I asked, innocently.

Lori turned to me, "Shane told me Rick was back! Told me he was here and safe!"

I looked at Shane with a _did you really have to do that _look. He pursed his lips and his face became red, "I was only doing it to protect you and the baby!" He shouted and then stormed off. Camp was silent. So silent. Not a bug moved on the ground, not a cicada buzzed on the tree, no one dared breath. Lori's eyes were wide. Carl stood in front of her, staring with an open mouth.

Daryl's hand gently pulled mine, "C'mon girl, let's get outta here for a bit," he eyed Lori and Carl and then led me away.

We walked out into the pasture, hand in hand, Daryl's crossbow swung over his shoulder. The cows around us munched happily, unknowing of the dangerous world around them. I sighed, "It'd be nice to be a cow, I think. Just eat all day not really worried about walkers."

Daryl smirked, "Well, I'm glad you're not a cow Jo May."

"Are we," I cleared my throat, "Ya know… are we, a thing?"

"A what?"

I cleared my throat again, "A thing… a pair… Facebook official?"

Daryl chewed on his dumb nail for a moment, I panicked and then he looked over to me, "I s'pose so."

I smiled but otherwise stayed silent. A car came flying up the drive; Rick, Hershel and Glenn, "Great," Daryl said, "Looks like we're in for it now."

We headed back to the house, the group was awkwardly silent. Rick, Hershel and Glenn stepped out of the car, dark circles of exhaustion under their eyes, "Someone else is with them," Daryl nodded to the blindfolded person in the back seat.

"Did this just turn into a "who's the daddy-hostage" situation," I asked, Daryl quietly laughed as we approached. I couldn't believe this. The kid was tied up, a blindfold covered most of his face and he had an iPod blasting music in his ears. Rick pulled him out of the car and he moaned in pain.

"This is Randall," Rick said, tossing him on the ground.

There was something about the way the kid, not much older than me, grunted when he hit the ground. It made my stomach twist up in knots, fear pounded along with my heart. I dropped my hand from Daryl's, "You okay," he asked, sounding far away as Rick pulled the blindfold off of Randall's face.

"Oh my God," I whispered. I felt like I was stuck in cement as I turned and made for the barn, the fields… anywhere but seeing that face. Again.

_Shane watched Daryl take off after Jo May, she ran her hands through her hair and he could see her sobbing. He looked back at Randall and then over at Jo May, realizing that there was only one reason that a stranger could illicit such a reaction. He followed Daryl, feeling his anger boiling over. _

_Daryl and Shane reached the barn at the same time, "What's goin' on," Daryl asked, wary of Jo May's sudden change of mood._

_She held her palms on her temples and desperately tried to control her sobbing. Shane stood a ways behind Daryl and quietly asked, "Was he one of them?"_

_Jo May stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned back to the two of them and nodded. Daryl looked back from Shane to Jo May, "One of who?"_

_Shane lowered his head and looked up at Jo May, "I think it's time to tell, sweetie."_

_Daryl was becoming agitated quickly, "Tell me what, Jo May?"_

_Shane stood silently, listening as Jo May told the same story to Daryl as she had to him. Daryl stood nearly statuesque until Jo May had finished, her arms folded, she stared at the ground. Daryl slammed his hand on the wall and she jumped. He walked over to her and she shied away, he caught her by the elbow. Daryl surprised Shane with the most sincere, softest voice he had ever heard a man use, "You're my girl, Jo May. And I will never let anything happen to you. Ever. You got that? You're my girl and I'ma keep you safe."_


	15. Chapter 15

Fifteen

I panicked as Daryl took off back towards the group, "He's gonna tell," I stifled on tears, wiping them off my face. I took off after him, Shane after me. They had taken Randall inside to patch him up. I stopped in the entryway as I heard Daryl yelling, nearly crying; the same sounds escaped his mouth the day he found out we left Merle up top the department store. I stopped before I could enter the living room. Daryl told my story to the group; I felt my face heat up. Shane came barreling in behind me and unable to stop in time, pushed me right into the living room, smack dab in the center of everyone. They all turned to look at me, some had tears in their eyes but everyone was coated in pity as they stared at me. Lori stood up, walked up to me and pulled me close. It was silent as she held me. I shook slightly but, couldn't… or wouldn't… cry. I felt relieved. Not happier or excited that people knew, just relieved that things had been explained. My fears though, being known as the girl who was raped, were gnawing away at me. I was terrified Daryl, even after his proclamation in the barn, wouldn't want me.

I stood behind him, Daryl, as everyone discussed Randall and his fate, "We'll take him out," Rick decided, "Drop him off."

"I say we kill the fucker," Daryl snapped, "He doesn't even deserve any of this to begin with."

"Just let him go," I said and walked out of the house. Silent tears streaming down my face, leaving sticky streaks once they dried in the cool wind. I trudged down the driveway, refusing to pay attention to anything around me; Daryl, Shane even Rick would have killed me for wandering off. No one wandered off.

I found a lone rock, warm in the sun and sat on it, drawing my knees up to my chest and closing my eyes. My first few days in the City seemed like a distant memory, far too many things had happened since then. Sometimes I wondered if I was maybe overreacting, Andrea had lost Amy, Jim and Jacqui were dead, Daryl had lost Merle, Lori was pregnant, Carol lost Sophia, Hershel had lost half his family. Who was I to think that my problems were the only ones? We were in a damned zombie apocalypse. The entire world had problems.

The crunching of feet on the gravel driveway made me look up and turn: Daryl. He leaned against the rock and I trained my eyes on the nothing I had been looking at earlier, "How come you didn't tell me?" He asked, running a finger from my shoulder to my elbow.

"Cause I didn't want you to leave," I mumbled, "I didn't want anyone to think I was sick or broken. If I could fool them into thinking I was okay, I could fool me too."

"I wouldn't have left," Daryl sounded frustrated by my thinking that, "Not gonna. And the group... I think you know them well enough to know that's not true. They wouldn't think any less of you… Dale might try and give you some therapy but, hell… ain't nobody gonna think any different," I turned to Daryl and he sat his crossbow down in the grass, "C'mere girl," he said, pulling me over to him. He held the sides of my face, running his thumbs over the tear soaked, salty skin. I avoided his gaze but, he called me back, "Look up here." He stared right into my eyes, his blue eyes squinted a bit, his jaw set, "Ain't nobody gonna think any different." I held onto Daryl's arms as he kissed me, I felt myself floating away. Daryl kissed my lips, the tip of my nose, my forehead. I held onto him, suddenly unafraid of losing him, completely grounded. I held him because I wanted him. I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you," I whispered, inhaling his familiar scent: dirt, sweat and notes of motorcycle exhaust and the tangy aroma of gunpowder and iron. It was comforting and familiar as he held me, strong arms around me. I looked up and saw the rest of the group filing out of the house, staring. Rick led a limping Randall out to the car, Shane followed. Daryl and I watched as they sped back down the driveway. They kept their eyes ahead as they passed us.

"Let's get some dinner," Daryl pulled me toward the farmhouse. I could see Dale putting something on our makeshift grill over the fire.

"Squirrel, oh boy," I joked, shooting Daryl the best grin I could muster.

"What's wrong with squirrel," Daryl look utterly surprised that I wasn't fond of his favorite barbecue, "Squirrel makes a damn fine meal!"

"Of course it does," I slid my arm around him so I could walk as close to him as possible, "How could I have been so confused? I love squirrel."

"That's what I thought," Daryl pressed his lips against my temple as we entered out little camp.

Everyone kept up the small talk at dinner, otherwise awkward silence ensued. I sat as close to Daryl as possible, he didn't seem to mind. Carol did. She sat just outside the firelight; I could feel her eyes burning on me. Stomachs full and bodies heavy with sleep, we all retired, promising to clean up in the morning. Daryl followed me into our tent and zipped it shut, slowly. I stood at the back of our tent, every inch of me felt alive and aware of what I wanted. Daryl threw back the covers, ready for me to take my spot. I didn't. Not tonight. As Daryl stared at me, I lifted my shirt over my head and walked up to him, threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. His hands slid around the small of my back, "You want this," he asked, staring down at me.

I nodded, "Do you?"

"Since the first day I met you."

After that, I was lost to Daryl's mouth, his fingers and his hands. By the time the night was over, we lay naked, sweaty and exhausted on our cot covered only by a thin sheet. My leg draped over his, my head on his chest, I traced circles over his heart. His fingers ran up and down my neck, creating a line of goose bumps after them. I looked up to Daryl and he glanced down to me, "Thank you," I said once more that day, "Thank you."

Daryl was gone in the morning but, the piles of sorted clothes made me believe that _someone _needed to do laundry. It was quiet, barely even warm. Winter was approaching quickly; I wondered where we would sleep when the cold and snow began to blow. I changed into shorts but opted for a long sleeved shirt instead of the regular "less fabric is less sweat" clothing choices. I gathered up some of the dirty clothes in a basket and stepped out into the yard. Lori, Carol and Andrea were also gathering up a few things as well, "Laundry day," I asked, drawing their attention. They seemed quiet. While silence was a usual sound in camp, this was another silence. The kind where everyone knew something except for you.

"Sum'bitch," Daryl snapped, I looked toward the direction of his voice. He stomped out of the butchering house, shaking his hands that I could see were a bit bloody.

"Who was in there with him," I asked, turning back to the girls.

Lori cleared her throat, "Randall… he, uh… he knew where he had been. Knew Maggie."

I looked back to the slaughterhouse and to Daryl who was talking to Rick and Shane. They all looked over to me and I waved, pretending not to know. All three waved back. I turned and started to walking to the water pump we used to wash our clothes in, "C'mon girls," I lifted my chin up a bit, "Time to move on."

We washed our clothes, scrubbing them on cookie sheets and make shift washboards. I tried hard to conceal the satisfied grin on my face, the relaxed feeling that had come over me made me want to sit out in the sun for hours on end, lounging. Lori, Andrea and eventually Carol finished and went to hang up their laundry to dry. Daryl found me and sat down in the grass next to me, flexing his busted up knuckles, "How you doing," he asked.

"I'm fine," I kept at the laundry, scrubbing it and then ringing it out, "You don't look so good, though."

"Yeah, well I feel good," he looked over at me and grinned. I couldn't help but smile back.

"Me too," I could not help but giggle. Daryl stood up and kissed the top of my head. I found myself alone, walking out back to the clotheslines, staring at the slaughter shed that held Randall. My feet started towards it, I saw no one and continued in, the door creaking with rust and age as I stepped inside. Randall looked up at me as I stood in front of him, arms limp at my sides. I exhaled, "Do you know who I am?"

"No," Randall replied, although he stared at me with a look that said my face struck a chord.

"You were in Atlanta," I spoke, sounding almost robotic, "You were in a group of men that took a family. My parents and I."

Randall blinked and his lips parted. He remembered, "They made me do it… those guys, they made me do that to you. I'm sorry, lady. I didn't have a choice."

"What happened to my parents?"

"I don't know," he began to panic, "Please, let me go! I won't say anything."

"What happened to them?"

Randall sighed, accepting defeat he stared at the dirt floor he sat on, "They're dead."

I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped back out into the cool air. I quietly went about my business, thanking God my parents hadn't turned.


End file.
